hi bonjovi

here to chat n so are all these ladies. what are you finding so hard at mo? would love to help you feel better.

love leonie xx

hi donna

aww. like i said any time n hope to make you feel better n not so alone. if you want to ask anything n i can help, promise i will. thinking of you.

leonie xxx

Thanks leonie that means a lot to me. I'm here for you too if you need a chat.just reading your post and noticed we're the same age and I've got two children who I haven't told yet don't know how to,to be honest.Donna xxx

dear leonie

you have been thru so much ,everyone has a different set of circumstances , it is hard on everyone xxxxxxx

will email u xxx lots love and hugs xxxx xxxxxx

What are you like? you show us how down you are and then go straight to helping someone else .I dont know how you have stayed sane during your treatment,you have suffered more than anyone and had the children to look after as well.I know your husband has been a rock to you all but he is right in the firing line.I really hope the pain management will do the trick.When my husband is in a mood,which isnt often love him,i send him out and tell him to go to see one of his mates or something because if he stays in it will wind me up and a bit of space lets you calm down.This time of year doesnt help either,it is so cold and cloudy,we need some sunshine to boost us.

Have a good old ramble when you feel like lovely girl,thats what we are here for.

Love Rose xxx

Hi Rose and everyone on this particular thread,have decided to join in as it seems to be THE page to be on !!! lol Have left a message for Donna on her thread, my laptop is playing up and husband is makeing funny noises about emptying it or something?????anyhow I have aposer for you all. A friend who is haveing similiar treatment to me BC but a more invasive type has a macmillon nurse comeing to her house and she says she is wonderfull (' natch)   she says I too should ask them to come to me but I honestly don't think I need help at the moment.I would feel guilty takeing up their time when someone else who is worse could benefit,but she keeps suggesting insisting I should ! anyone got any suggestions before husband starts fiddling with my lifeline laptop .....love Netty  xxx

Leonie babe, you're the most upbeat person on this forum, you have young kids to look after, a husband and most importantly yourself. I only have me to think about when I open my eyes in the morning as my girls are grown up and I dont need to get them up for school etc, my John has been amazing through all this as you know, just like your Jon, but they are only human and sometimes it gets too much for them too, but I dont know if you feel this way but sometimes when john is struggling with it, i get emotional cause I think he wants out, like some other partners have done on here and I keep waiting for this amazing man to walk out on me, but he wont and i need to realise that, so if thats what youre worried about DONT! You are such an inspiration to me and the rest of the people on here, look youre already helping 2 new women, please just take time to breathe and relax, book yourself in for a massage and Jon too, im sure he could be doing with one, if I lived nearer Id pop in and mind the kids lol. Your a gorgeous lady, keep your chin up. Lots of love Col xx

PS hello to the new girls xx

hi ladies

thanks for your support n kind messages about me. i wish he would go out sometimes but he wont, he just tries to be nice n im already upset! gets annoying! ha. its not that im afraid he will leave cos i know he wont. its because hes give up smoking n so have i. ive never mentioned it before cos i was embarassed about still smoking n having cancer. but i couldnt of dealt with the stress of giving up while everything else was going on. ive been ok with it, want one sometimes but ive not been moody. jon however has been n had to be told off a few times in the last 6 weeks! we dont argue normally but have had 3 lately. hes been loads better since but when he gets mardy i want to smoke then..! hes not a moody person n think thats why it upsets me so much. sometimes its like he forgets how much i hurt n im just being lazy. i know sometimes hes fed up of doing everything.

sent him back to work in oct but theres so much i cant do cos of my arms etc n medication, that he had to give his managers job up cos he couldnt put in the hours. now hes part time on the tills n charly goes play school on the days he works. he had already had 10 months on the sick to look after me n charly. it just annoys me how upset i get cos hes mardy. it makes me think about how i do feel really n not 'im fine' thing. its not fair for him but i find it hard to deal with.

much love leonie xxxx

well done on giving up smoking, I gave up about 5 years ago but when I was diagnoed the first thing I wanted was a ciggie, I didnt take one, but how it wouldve calmed me down. You guys will be grand, just keep  your chin up babe. I feel good these days but still have this pain in my neck and ive got it in my head its something more sinister, but think thats natural, just waiting on oncologist appt, takes up to 8 weeks after radio finishes, sometimes i think scotland is way behind as no one else seems to wait this long or do they? x