Hi,

I am sorry to butt into your discussion but just wanted to wish you all well.

You all seem like tough cookies and am touched, truly.

I am currently waiting, I have my breast clinic appointment on 27th oct and really nervous, not eating or sleeping much to be honest but then I don't eat much anyway lol.

Really don't know what to expect with this appointment just that I will probably be having an ultrasound as I'm only 24.

The reason I went to the GP was because I have bloody nipple discharge and a rather deep dimple. I can't help but think the worst but do understand there are benign causes for this out there. Just glad my GP took me seriously.

Do you mind if I ask how you ladies felt at this stage? Am I insane or am I being normal?

Best wishes everyone

Kylie xxx

No Kylie,

You are not insane..... first let me say you are very sensible to see your doctors immediately.... you would be surprised how many think they are too young so don't bother.

I know this is a very scarey thing to try and come to terms with... and the waiting is the hardest bit.... If I had to discribe how I felt when I was waiting for appointments and tests then I think the only word I could come up with is....LOST... Very emotional and scared to death.... but I now know that all these feelings are perfectly normal.

If you are worried about what to expect, why not ring up your breast clinic and ask them.... they are normaly really good and have no problem explaining what you should expect.

When my doctor refered me to our local breast clinic, I was examined by a lady doctor, then I had to have a mammogram and an ultrasound scan..... I would suggest you take somebody with you... maybe your partner / Mum / friend just for a bit of moral support.... but I have to say that the breast care unit and all it's staff were brilliant and really did well to calm all my fears.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to come here and ask, there is always somebody who has been in the situation you are in and able to offer help and advice.... we are all here for each other.

Take care honey... and try not to imagine the worst (easier said than done)

Love Caz xxx

Hi Lee, wise and true words from yourself as usual, you always seem to know the right things to say & caz Im not always positive, every ache or pain I have I think the cancer has spread, its my amazing partner that gets me through. I think your very brave to have went along to this wedding to be honest I really havent went out that much during my treatment, we have been invited to a few parties, but i never felt up to going as they always seemed to fall just a few days after chemo when i felt at my worst and i dont feel comfy wearing my wig. I had to go into work the other day for a team meeting and dreaded it, i wore my wig and to be honest people who didnt know my hair had fallen out just thought id had low lights lo, but i still feel uncomfortable wearing it. I havent had my breasts removed only a lump, but you are here and youve been so positive at times, its only natural to have off days. I just got my appt through yest for my radiotherapy which starts 25th nov for 6 weeks so will run over xmas, but at least xmas is on a sat so i wont have to go lol. Speak to you all soon, lots of love coming your way, xxx

Hi Colly

its coming on this site that makes me feel so humble, being amongst such strong women makes me appreciate everything around me and thank god Im alive.

Im so glad you are feeling better and you must tell me when your hair starts growing back to a stage when it is just a short cut.

Its my birthday on thursday.....43 ahhhh lol anyway Im having a friend do my false lashes for me for the friday and my mum has bought me a new dress (loose and baggy to hide the weight gain) and Friday night ima goin out to paint the town red....well maybe pinkish so wish me luck girls this is my first night out since my op in June and Im terrified !!!

If you read in the newspaper ....headline bald headed woman found waving false breast at passers by singing show me the way to go home...dont worry its only me ....lol xx

take care

lee xxxxxx

lol happy birthday when it comes and have a fab night out. What kind of false lashes are you getting and how long do they last? Im not into these glue on ones but dunno if i have enough of my own to get others added to if that makes sense? x

Hi lee,

Being as the site is closing down for a couple of days I will wish you a happy birthday for Thursday.I have a mental picture of you being loaded into the police car!!!You made me giggle.Have a lovely time.

Rose xxx

As the site is closing for a day or so I will wish Andy good luck now.Hope it all goes well.

Love to you both

Rose xx

Hi to all you lovely ladies and Tony - great to hear from you

I have not been on for a while and it is great to read that Colly and Lee are at the end of the chemo and what lovely words you have to say to all. Sorry Caz that you have had a bit of a rough time, but like Nina says the infection is pulling you down and making you feel worse. Hope that clears up asap.

Happy Birthday Lee and you go for it girl.

I go for my 5th chemo on thursday, the last one took a while to get over but at least I was not sick! I feel I have turned a corner mentally and feeling quite normal if you know what I mean. I even attempted to do a bit of gardening the other day but got stung by a wasp which was hiding in the gardeing glove!

Love to you all

Anne

x

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to say i'm so sorry i wasn't able to come on and thank you for your replies, really meant alot. It's been an awful week and my computer is broken! I also was phoned by my GP who found out that something is wrong and that a team of doctors are having a meeting about me?

I hope you're all doing ok? Always thinking of you and wishong you well!

Luv Kylie xxx

hello lovely ladies and lovely Tony,

seems i have missed so much in the few days i have been away. Well, firstly you are all wonderful, and although i have my first chemo today - i am not too daunted by it thanks to your continued support and honesty in whats involved. i know there is no telling how I will react but I feel ready to face what comes my way.

once again reading through the thread and seeing how much i have missed, i come away feeling enlightened and humbled by your words.

Caz my heart goes out to you as I know once you hit that spiral it is hard to come out of. I felt disfigured just with a scar and then the thought of 5 weeks of radio followed by one weeks intensive has scared me for weeks, the thought of the breast shrinking and looking odd and so forth. However, on my pre chemo visit this week, I met two lovely ladies - and as you do when you go through this awful journey to recovery, i was looking to see who was wearing a wig- ie was it obvious to all, and who had breasts and who didn't. What suprised me was I had been talking to this woman for a good while before i noticed she had a breast removed but her wonderful smile and winning personality - and her loose cardi buttoned at the waist only, completely hid it.  I don't know that I would have had her confidence but since having this 'thing' i find myself looking at people differently and it made me realise, it is more important to us than to others. my other half cannot understand the paranoia about my hair for example. But  please take away the thought as the girls have said before, that it really is what's inside that counts. Every time i come here, i see small pictures of you all - i do not see imperfections, i see wonderful normal human beings with nothing but love warmth and understanding. Someone once said to me that you cannot understand unless you have been there yourself, and someone else said that the reward for that comes when you can hold out your hand and help someone else through it.  Allow yourself time to grieve - it is a part of you that you have lost, but then ask yourself, would it change the way you felt about your friend, mother sister? Sexuality, personality and attractiveness is determined by so many things, its not about physical looks, look at Simon Weston, he had no face, he couldn't hide his imperfections and found true love. I am sending you my love and extra hugs as i might not be on here for a couple of days, but i will be thinking of you and hoping you will find the strength to turn that corner.  Love to you all,

sara x

Nice one Sara

Rosexxx

Sara, Sara, Sara,

What beautiful words and so right about the likes of Simon Weston...I was thinking of a similar thing when I got to that bit....isn't it funny that we call them imperfections too...we all have to have exactly the same but that is not how it works...people in the world are coming to terms with differences all the time. It wasn't that long ago that people with mental and physical disabilities were locked away from the public's gaze or shown in freak shows. Also mixed race or same sex couples would be stared at because people did not approve or found it odd...there will always be the person who is the exception and will have prejudice for whatever reason..anyways what I am trying to say is that people are far more understanding and unphased than we realise. I think like you were saying curiousity is what it is in the main...I went for my first chemo in my next battle and did exactly what you said...i.e. looked around for the wigs, why I don't know just curious was all it was I expect...There was a lady and her friend behind me sniggering away and I had to tell them to behave and not have so much fun having chemo...like I said on my thread it was good to see and got an extra giggle from the ladies :-)

If you have a look at the picture you can just see them huddled over sniggering....

[[]]

Anyways sorry for the ramble as the Irinotecan (evil irene) is making me a bit woozy so had better stop typing... :-)

Much Love to all you lovely ladeeees.

Tony xxxx

Sara, Sara, Sara,

What beautiful words and so right about the likes of Simon Weston...I was thinking of a similar thing when I got to that bit....isn't it funny that we call them imperfections too...we all have to have exactly the same but that is not how it works...people in the world are coming to terms with differences all the time. It wasn't that long ago that people with mental and physical disabilities were locked away from the public's gaze or shown in freak shows. Also mixed race or same sex couples would be stared at because people did not approve or found it odd...there will always be the person who is the exception and will have prejudice for whatever reason..anyways what I am trying to say is that people are far more understanding and unphased than we realise. I think like you were saying curiousity is what it is in the main...I went for my first chemo in my next battle and did exactly what you said...i.e. looked around for the wigs, why I don't know just curious was all it was I expect...There was a lady and her friend behind me sniggering away and I had to tell them to behave and not have so much fun having chemo...like I said on my thread it was good to see and got an extra giggle from the ladies :-)

If you have a look at the picture you can just see them huddled over sniggering....

[[]]

Anyways sorry for the ramble as the Irinotecan (evil irene) is making me a bit woozy so had better stop typing... :-)

Much Love to all you lovely ladeeees.

Tony xxxx

Nice Pic Tony, very photogenic x