Hi I'm 45 and just found out that a lump I had on my breast is cancerous, I had lump and lymph nodes removed last tues, so I'm now waiting to hear what treatment I'm going to need, My consultant has said most likely 8 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, so 6 months in total and then radiotherapy mon-fri for a month, so i'm kinda in the unknown zone at the moment. Not looking forward to the hair loss, terribly vain i know, but my hair is very important to me like most women, I colour it blonde which will obviously have to stop. As far as I know my chemo will be given intrevenously, so my hair will most probably fall out. I am going to look into getting a real hair wig as I dont think i've got the guts to go au natural, I've also picked up a couple of bandanas to wear about the house. My partner says it doesnt matter if my hair falls out, as long as i'm here. Luckily I've found the lump very early by self examination whilst on holiday and my consultant is very positive about me getting better. I'm very wary about the next 9 months but feel quite determinded that chemo is a wonder drug and will make me better. My girls are 22 and 20 and are amazing, they have read stories in magazines about Kylie, sally from corrie etc and are determined I will just do what the doc says and get better, my partner who ive only been with for 2 years is the most wonderful guy ever, dunno what I'd do without him, he's been with me every step of the way. I was worried about losing my breast, but fortunately I had a lumpectomy which looks amazing. my consultant says put your life on hold for the next 6-9 months get better and you'll never look back, oh yeah sounds easy, but im trying really hard. I hope I'm still this positive whilst I go through my treatment (def not I hear you say) lol, but I'm a determined ***!

Hope to chat to others in the same situation xx

hi colly

just had my lump and nodes removed thursday (12th Aug) so will know my treatment shortly. I am expected to have radiotherapy and chemo but i thought radiotherapy came first, seems on here it is the other way around - perhaps I wasn't listening. I'm feeling a bit daunted at what comes next but more so for the effect it will have on the family - i worry too about not being the glamourous vital woman i was and will that change my realationship with my partner and so on. Although we are planning to get married. So much to talk about! it would appear you will be going through treatment at around the same time as me, so if you would like to stay in touch and discuss our good and bad days, please do !!! my email is simplysara1@hotmail.com

wishing the best of luck to you

sara

wow Lee, I agree with Colly - you look stunning! i am inspired to hear about you and the gym. I am nearly off smoking (well i cheat a bit but i am not even smoking a whole cig a day so compared with 30 a day thats good - patches and inhaler help!) and intend to do my best to get into shape regardless of the treatments I will have to endure. I still don't really know what they will be or what to expect. Was told radiation and probably chemo. Results of lumpectomy and sentinel node biospy due Tuesday.

I am feeling very nervous about chemo, keep hearing about so many effects. however, Lee you look gorgeous and you have inspired me- i think a long walk tomorrow with my daughter and grandchildren, wear them out and get my lungs and muscles working !

Hope you all had a good weekend - shame about the weather but your comments here always leave me with some sunshine in my life.

sara xx

Hi Sara,

We sent the previous post at exactly the same time !:shocked: Well done with the ciggies Keep up the good work.

Colly,glad you get some good days as well as grotty ones.You have come so far and are always so happy with everyone.

Where is Loumack these days?Let us know how you are Lou.

Love to you all

Rose xxx

Hi Sara

good luck for Tues my thoughts will be with you and with you Colly on Wed this whole situation is one big roller coaster ride for all of us and we will have good days and bad days but thanks to this site we will never have alone days, thanks girls for the lovely comments on my new look!! it took some getting used to but I guess its not forever.

Take good care all of you

Lots of love

Lee xx

Hi All,

I went to the hospital today - god why is that always such a trauma? full waiting rooms and no air! Still, has to be done I guess. My sentinel node biopsy was clear and so was the margin around the tumour. So, to hell with waiting, after a tearful morning waiting to go to the hospital, i have had two large glasses of wine - soaked in the bath and removed the last of the dressings and feel a bit braver.

i am expected to start chemo in about 4-6 weeks and then radiotherapy, and i am a bit nervous but i am remembering every day the posts here about how life can carry on as normal - believe me - this makes such a difference to being positive, i had visions of being confined to bed for several weeks!

slipped a bit with the smoking today so need to really buck back up tomorrow, but couldn't go without sharing my news and saying once agan a big thank you for all your support. It is amazing how it helps !

Colly love and best wishes for tomorrow x

sara xx

Sara,

What brilliant news honey, I am so pleased for you.... That must be such a relief for you. You celebrate the same way I do.... bottle of wine and a long soak... :grin:

I am about a month behind you in my treatment so I will be turning to you for advice.

I had my MRI scan today so I have to wait till friday to find out how far the cancer has gone.... Then I have got my operation next wednesday and 12 days later I will be exactly where you are now.

As for the smoking..... one day at a time.... so you slipped a bit today, try again tomorrow.... Today you celebrate your good news

I will be back on friday with my results

Colly good luck for tomorrow honey

And to Lee and all the other ladies... Keep on fighting.... Your fight inspires others

Love Caz Xxx

Hi Sara,

Great news :grin: .You deserved the wine and dont panic about the ciggies,back to it tomorrow.Good healthy food for 4-6 weeks to build up your defences ready for treatment. You are getting nearer and nearer the day that your treatment finishes although it may seem far away.

Have a couple of days out and about nd enjoy !!

Rose xxx

well done Sara

Im so pleased to read your news, Colly hope you are ok today, I have had my 3rd Chemo yesterday and I (touch wood) I feel ok, just a little bit sleepy and wobbly but hopefully by the time I finish the steroids and anti sickness drugs then I will be back to my normal self.

will probably keep out the gym till then and just do as the girls say and watch tele on the sofa and eat ice-cream he he xx

Much love to you all and I hope both Shents and Loumac are well.

Love, cyber hugs and kisses

Lee xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Lee and girlies, just back from hospital after 4th chemo of Taxotere which seemingly is the one that makes your bones feel sore, therefore I had to take 4 steroids yest morn 4 last night, 4 this morn, 4 tonight, 4 tomor morn & 4 tomor nte, so hopefully these should help as they say it can be sore right down to your finger tips, the Taxotere takes longer to go in so was at hosp for 2 hours instead of usual 45 mins but feel good so far lol. Lee what do you do when at gym? Ive just been doing yoga classes not actually been in the gym as didnt want to over do it but think i'll get back on the treadmill or bike. I can't wait to get back into the pool but doc has said not to just now incase of any infection. Hope you continue to feel good, not long to go now. Good luck everybody. Speak soon. Col x

Hi Coll

I shall keep my fingers crossed for you that all will be well with the latest treatment, I have been baking banana bread and muffins today! *** I didnt bake before...whats happening to me lol anyway I used to be a personal trainer and dietician for over 15 years so have programmed myself a get back to fitness routine consisting of 5 mins on air bike, 5 mins on rower, 5 mins on lateral thigh trainer and 10 mins on power plate doing various exercises to tone the lower part of the body, then some low weight bicep curls and tricep kickbacks to tone the arm muscles and some gentle abdominal's, the whole process takes around 45 mins with some stretches to end, I hope to keep up this routine through my chemo so that when its all over I will be able to get back into my usual routine as quick as possible and yes avoid the swimming pool..(full of germs) and if you have to go to a public gym try to go at the quietest times and make sure the equipment is clean and sterile.

But good luck your exercise should be like your meals , fun little and often.

All the best

Love Lee xx

hi girls

so glad to hear the biopsy was clear for you. enjoy your last few more normal weeks til the nasty stuff starts. it hepls lots if you can get your head round chemo before you start. n good luck for your results on friday caroline. i just like the others will keep my fingers crossed n my thoughts will be with you.

so nice to hear from you lee n you look great with no hair. might put a pic of mine up. but no ones allowed to laugh at my ears! glad you have been feeling ok, thats just great news. was a bit worried about you. now im just worried about lou.

how are you getting on now patrica? i know your burns were healing well but how do you feel in yourself? i hope you are feeling well now. rose my sweet lady, im doing ok. i can walk further with less pain n am able to go out more. obviously going out has consequencies though, n dont feel that good afterwards. today my body is very tired but i was out the last 2 days. maybe a bit greedy. my boob is swollen red n very sore. did you not have any affects from rads? think my body is getting used to it as im definately less tired. well next friday should be the last one n i look forward to that day so much. then i can concentrate on getting better n better till i no longer need to. theres been some talk about avastin lately (my trial drug) n i feel so bad for the people that need it but are not receiving it again because of cost. life is unfair enough for patients. i realise how lucky i am to be given the chance to take part in this trial n have this drug. just wish i could help those that need it.

colly keep your chin up, you too lee, only a few days till your recovering from the chemo. my thoughts are with you all.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxx

hi girls

so glad to hear the biopsy was clear for you. enjoy your last few more normal weeks til the nasty stuff starts. it hepls lots if you can get your head round chemo before you start. n good luck for your results on friday caroline. i just like the others will keep my fingers crossed n my thoughts will be with you.

so nice to hear from you lee n you look great with no hair. might put a pic of mine up. but no ones allowed to laugh at my ears! glad you have been feeling ok, thats just great news. was a bit worried about you. now im just worried about lou.

how are you getting on now patrica? i know your burns were healing well but how do you feel in yourself? i hope you are feeling well now. rose my sweet lady, im doing ok. i can walk further with less pain n am able to go out more. obviously going out has consequencies though, n dont feel that good afterwards. today my body is very tired but i was out the last 2 days. maybe a bit greedy. my boob is swollen red n very sore. did you not have any affects from rads? think my body is getting used to it as im definately less tired. well next friday should be the last one n i look forward to that day so much. then i can concentrate on getting better n better till i no longer need to. theres been some talk about avastin lately (my trial drug) n i feel so bad for the people that need it but are not receiving it again because of cost. life is unfair enough for patients. i realise how lucky i am to be given the chance to take part in this trial n have this drug. just wish i could help those that need it.

colly keep your chin up, you too lee, only a few days till your recovering from the chemo. my thoughts are with you all.

lots of love leonie xxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone,

Golly gosh ! I learn so much on here I am preparing myself for the chemo mentally at least, and I am off for a 45 min walk to the dentist tomorrow, but may get a cab back if my mouth is sore. The inspiration from you all keeps me motivated and I feel a bit dispondent waiting four to six weeks for chemo to start. I am obviously NOT looking forward to it but keep thinking the sooner it starts the sooner it finishes!

I am still smoking but the patches itch several days after they have been removed, so have been thinking about stepping up the inhaler and the gum, thank god its pay day tomorrow and i can think about buying supplies! The steristrips and dressings are now off, and i still have a little bit of blue dye left, a bit of a dent in the area the lump was removed, but an amazing scar - i am impressed - although occassionally i get that vanity downer. Aren't we all a funny bunch!

Leonie, i wish you well, perhaps someone here will be able to tell you how they coped with the radiation soreness. Thinking of you - oh and by the way - don't worry about the ears - you should see my nose ! The ears will be covered again soon enough - my nose - well it will always appear two minutes before i do.

Not a day goes by where I don't think about you all now, best wishes to all.

Sara xx

Hi Leonie,

Glad you are feeling a bit better.I cant believe what you are going through.I did not have any side effects from radio.I used aftersun cream every day.I am going to get a bottle of wine in to celebrate your end of treatment next Friday.you deserve a medal so we will have to send you a cyber one.

Have you coped with the school hols? It has poured here for 2 days.Roll on winter ,we might have some good weather then.!!

Take care lovely girl

Rose xxx

Hello girls,

I'm having a pretty bad day today..... I got the results of my MRI scan today.

The cancer in my right breast is more widespread than they first thought, so they have decided to do a mastectomy on my right breast, with reconstructive surgery to be considered at a later date,

Also, the MRI showed "something" in the left breast too.... So I have had an ultrasound scan and 3 biopsy's on my left breast today... results for that next friday, so needless to say, next week's surgery has been postponed.

I am trying to stay positive.... but to be honest, today is a wobbly day for me

I went to the doctor with a blocked milk gland and it's all just snowballed

Love Caz Xxx

Hopefully I can be classed as one of the girls but at 6ft 3in and 19st would look a bit out of place on a girls night out.

Caroline, we are all here from you darling and I am sure the 'girls' on this thread will be along at any moment to offer words of wisdom etc.

For now here is a T Hug to be going on with <<>>

Much Love

Tony xxx

Hi Tony, you made me giggle, i was always thought of as one of the boys till i hit about 21 - and you're never to old to join a gang, just shame about the circumstances.

I too was told today I need more surgery so seeing the doc wednesday. I know we all have bad days and i had mine for a couple of hours earlier. So stupid - went all the way to tesco to do a huge monthly shop. At the checkout I realised I left my debit card at home. Ho hum. Anyway Caroline, I was told by a lady who had her treatment last year, that with new knowledge and medication etc etc., that the doc/surgeons do not do as they used to, they are far more meticulious (spelling??) because they know what they are doing. I know it is not easy, i went to peices for an hour today thinking here we go again, but it helps to remember that we are all in a sensitve emotional state which makes the news harder to bear. i know we also have our feminity (and masculine) feelings of attractiveness and so forth which doesn't help but here are a few things to remember.

If you're friends and family were blind - they'd still love you and never know what you look like clothed or otherwise.

The only person who sees you intimately is your partner - and they just love you - so unless you sprout frightening sausage and brussels in rude places, their feelings will not change. A lot of partners say it increases the way feel, physically and emotionally about their partners.

In the meantime sweetie, make sure everyone brings you all the things you want and don't want. Chocs, bottle of fizz for going home, sweeties galore, books, cosmetics and anything else you can think of. Let people spoil you - it makes them feel good too.

Stay positve, it isn't easy, but we all know the more we worry and get upset, the faster the spiral spins. Let us know how it goes, and in the meantime if you want to talk you know where we all are.

Anyway guys and gals, bank holiday weekend huh? Better weather on the way, so lets all have a couple of days off from worry and enjoy before the weather turns again!

lots of love to you all

sara x

Lovely post Sara and very good advice.I have answered you caz on your other post but hope you give yourself time to grieve about this news .

Sorry you have to have more surgery Sara.My surgery has never posed a problem to me or my husband,as you say it puts looks way down the list when you have faced so many worries.Plus my husband is like a patchwork quilt with all his operations.It is a mind over matter thing .

If you need any dental work have it done before you start chemo as the risk of infection is greater while having treatment.

Hope you have as good a weekend as possible

Rose xxx

Hi Caz

I'm so so very sorry to hear your news I realise this is a very worrying and emotional time for you, but its true as sara has said the doctors these days are so much more thorough and don't leave any stone unturned, whereas once upon a time without the advancement in medicine and technology that we have today many symptoms were left undiagnosed only to appear again at a later date and only too often too late.

So I guess what I'm trying to say in my waffling manner is this, if there is something there to be gotten rid off, then lets do it know and all together, so that you can nail it and start living again, my prayers and thoughts are with you as they are with all the girls (and guys) I read a very good book recently called Lance Armstrong Its not all about the race. Should you get the opportunity to read it then please do ,his journey has inspired me immensely.

Take good care of yourselves

All my love Lee xx

Hi Caz

OMG what can happen in a few days. I am so sorry to hear your latest news but one step at a time, easy to say I know.

They can do amazing things today with reconstruction a friend of mine had it done and she was quite a big busted lady and she has never looked back and that was is 9 years ago so think how much more they have improved since then.

Stay strong Caz, I will be thinking of you this week along with others on here. I know it is horrible waiting and not knowing, try to keep busy and amongst friends this week.

Loads of hugs

Anne

Good morning all,

You are so right Anne, I have heard the same thing about the new re-construction. When I looked at my lumpectomy scar which is now 17 days old, i was amazed. it is two inches long and looks more like one of my hairs has sat on my chest than a surgery scar. It is normal to have concerns on all levels with all surgery good or bad. I was so panicked when I first found out I had cancer that I was stomping around the house saying I wanted a double mastectomy. My doctor thought I was totally off my head ! As i calmed down a bit, I started to think about things like lack of sensation, how they might look false and so on. And even this week when I heard I have to go back for more surgery, I burst into tears thinking of my new false tooth, losing my hair and not being able to wear the dress I wanted for the wedding as the indent in my left breast would show. But then I came back into positive mode.

My lil sis who had cervical cancer didn't loose her hair in chemo although she have other issues. She and I try all the time to look for a positive in a negative. She said to me, if you have a reconstruction - get the boobs you would have had if you had got them done for vanity reasons. She's right. Whether or not you would have contemplated breast surgery for vanity before, we all have body issues. Try and be positive and think you can have the boobs you want I saw a lady recently who had both hers done sunbathing topless. There was no way on this earth I would have known - she had lovely lovely natural boobs and I was envious!!!! Her sister told me she had a reconstruction last year (due to accident ) and that more than half her breast had been missing.

i am learning how to use henna pens to draw on eyebrows, i am going to experiment with false lashes - none of which I would have ever considered. I found the first set of false lashes make me look ten years younger. Uncomfortable but soon get used to them.

I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now, but it is really true, if you keep lookingfor the positives and feed off them, the bad days get less and less and easier to deal with. I hope I have helped a little. Also, ask the doc to show you pictures, i saw some this week and WOW they are great the ones i saw on the net are about ten years out of date and not so attractive. Stay strong !

Sara

hi girls, sorry some of you havent had the news you expect, having breast cancer or any cancer is awful, but if its for the best then having a mastectomy would be right at top of list for me. This wee post is for the women who have been through the FEC-T, I just had the firsy T on wed and OMG do I feel like sh*t, every bone is aching, ive been in bed since friday tea time, in total agony, right down to my finger/toe nails, soles of my feet, behind my eyes, you name a place on the body and its sore, is it just me or did any of you have this? think id rather feel sick at least i can take tabs and doze, there is no way i can sleep with this pain, no wonder they give you 24 steroids over 3 days, think i need 124 lol, would appreciate any advise. Lots of love and chin up girlies xxx