Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

Good Luck Lee, I'm sure everything will be fine, I was in and out in 45 mins, so hopefully you'll be same, fingers crossed, my 2nd chemo is wednesday, lots of love Col x

Good luck for tomorrow FiFi x

yes Fifi

only good news this week so I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.

lots of love leexx

Thanks Coll

Let me know how you get on, the second one is the one Im dreading the most, somehow think thats DDay for my hair.

All the very best to you, lots of love lee xx

hi lee im sorry im too late to wish you luck. hope all went well today. i was excited about mine starting, i soon lost that feeling.

leonie xxx

Hi Lee,

Just to wish you good luck today! Try not to worry to much the proceedure isn't that bad and we are all here for you.

Patricia x

Hi Colette,

Hahaha, now that's what I call retail therapy!! Saw one of those Fiat 500 cars on the motorway yesterday on way back from hospital. First one I've seen in the flesh so to speak, they look cool. My oncologist laughed when we told him about our retail therapy after my radiotherapy everyday, although we don't go mad as it would cost me a fortune We've been going to the out of town shopping area near the hospital and doing a shop a day as well as lunch. Haven't had so much fun in years LOL. Trouble is we can't be too long as my youngest son, who's off from uni, has been co-opted in to look after my disabled dad so my mum can come with me has been giving us the third degree about why it's taking us so long, little white lies! My mums enjoying herself as well so thats a bonus. Right got to get ready to go for today's treatment, both kinds

Patricia x

Hi girls thankyou so much for all your good wishes, today went fine, felt a bit emotional but your right patricia the procedure was pretty straight forward, whilst I realise that today is only the first day I feel fine, just a little woozy and now I can finaly join the gang and start crossing the dates off on the calender.

So once again thankyou all so very much you really have made all the difference to me in this difficult time, its like having a dozen angels guiding me through.

so big kiss to everyone mwah xx

Glad it wasnt too uncomfortable for you,one down !!

Saw this site and thought of all you ladies going through the hair loss thing. www.headcovers.com/t/scarves. Some nice looking headwear on there .

Good luck to you all,

Rose xxx

Hi Lee

Glad everything went well today, it really isn't that bad, I too was emotional first time round, I think we are doing pretty well for beginners lol, I went to get my bloods taken today and the nurse said 'oh youve still got plenty hair, usually its all out before your 2nd chemo' so i dunno everyone is different, glad it all went well. xx

Hi Lee

Glad everything went well today, it really isn't that bad, I too was emotional first time round, I think we are doing pretty well for beginners lol, I went to get my bloods taken today and the nurse said 'oh youve still got plenty hair, usually its all out before your 2nd chemo' so i dunno everyone is different, glad it all went well. xx

hi all

hope today went well for you col n hope you are feeling ok. make sure you keep on top of anti sickness med then hopefully you wont be sick this time. thinking of you as always.

glad to hear all went well lee. keep us posted on how youre feeling cos us ones that have been through it, will be thinking of you ones going through it now quite a lot. im always checking this page for replies, though dont always have the energy or knowledge to reply. hope you are feeling well.

patrica, how nice to hear from you n see your name on the page again. we missed your stories. so glad you are well n enjoying yourself with your mum. though a bit cheeky on your poor son, hehe.

i forgot to say well done lou for taking part in race for life. its brilliant that you could walk it with your friends. n whata lovely surpise from kids football team. its so nice when people perk you up when feeling so crabby. we all understand about the shouting thing, its perfectly normal to us patients. a little harder for our loved ones though, bless em. feeling so ill n not being able to do things we'd like or used to do, is so fustrating. maybe you should let a bit more steam off on here.

went for psychiatrist app last week n he couldnt stop smiling at me n what i was saying. did get my app wrong again though, was at 10n i thought it was 11! i feel so different to when i had my 1st app. n that was only my 2nd. but im not in that dark horrible place that i was, n i know this site n this page has made a huge difference to me. of course not having those side affects has helped me no end as well. but the further i get away from chemo the better n more possitive i feel inside. i look forward to living again n doing the normal daily things. only thing thats stopping me now is the muscle pain n fatigue. god knows how long that will last. so i have now stopped seeing him but i can call anytime to see him again if needed. gonna stay on anti depressants though probably untill ive finished treatment.

shelley, feel so much for you n would be there when you want to chat but i dont know much about different cancers. dont know that much about my own but i know how it makes you feel. wish you allthe best n will keep an eye out for you on here.

ladies, good luck with your treatment, n sending you all lotsof love.

leonie xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Leonie, Thanx, nice to see read your posts, well thats 2nd chemo session over, all went well in and out in half an hour, so that was good as john had a big meeting at work and dont like to keep him away too long, tho he said tough they can wait. Patricia glad your getting out and about at shops, retail therapy is fab if you have the energy, tho your poor son lol if only he knew what you 2 wee monkeys were up too. Leonie hope your muscle pain and fatigue goes away soon, shelley sorry to see youve joined our forum, but honestly this site has helped me so much, keep posting and let us know how your doing. Lee 2nd chemo was fine, sitting here with my wig on trying to get used to it, my friend came in and i put it on for her and her 18 yr old son, they couldnt believe how nice it was, they loved it and loved the cut and colour lol. Lots of love to you all. Col xx

Hi girls

well its day 2 if you don't count the actual chemo day and I feel ok I hate taking the tablets but thats just me and there seems to be so many, the nausea seems to be lurking in the background but not doing enough to make me shout, Shelly welcome I'm sorry your here but you wont meet a nicer bunch of girls and guys! they really will help you through this.

Colly glad to hear your second chemo went well, are you wearing your wig now or was it just a try on and have you lost much hair yet.

I'm having a lot of difficulty eating at the moment I wonder if anyone has any suggestions as I don't want to make myself worse for not eating.

I went for a really long walk yesterday with my husband along the beach, it was so lovely to get out in the fresh air, on our way back the heavens opened and it began to pour down with rain, my poor husband got all panicky and said oh no I haven't brought an umbrella with me you'll get your hair wet, at that moment we just stood there in the rain and laughed, sod the hair I said lets just Enjoy the rain, its kinda funny when you start to put things into perspective, that was definately one of my favourite walks.

take care girls my thoughts are with you every day

Lee xxxxxxxx

Hi Lee

plenty of fresh air is good for you, I was just trying on the wig to let my friend see it and to try and get used to it, my hair is falling out fast and furiously, tho very even all over, seems to be thinning more at the back, but I've just been clipping it up and putting a hair band on as I've still got a fair amount at front but you can see my scalp which you couldnt see before as I have really thick hair and loads of it, I'd say my hair starting thinning out after 2 weeks, but to be honest I don't think its going to last for much longer, Ive ordered a few scarves from Bohemia hair fashions online, they came the next day. I like you feel a bit nauseas the day after chemo, think its getting used to the tablets, anti sickness on an empty tum and steroids with or after food, so now i know i dont feel too bad today, its the not sleeping properly that drives me mad, obviously the steroids keeping my awake. As for food, I wouldnt say ive lost my appetite but some foods taste very bland like a ham sandwich needs branston pickle, pizza i have to have pineapple etc, so ffods with a distinctive taste, oh and heinz tomato soup lol. Hope you continue to feel fine, just waiting on johns sis whos a nurse coming up to give me my jag as i cant do that myslef lol. Take care. col x

Hi guys

well its day 4 and I have to say im feeling pretty rough, the nausea wont go away and now and again I get these awful pressure headaches just want to feel normal again, sorry to sound so low but I'm just so fed up, I'm sure I must be lousy company at the moment for my husband and my family, I'm so used to being the one that looks after everyone else and also being the bubbly one around the house, Someone please tell me this doesnt go on for the entire time im having chemo.

lee xxxxxxx

Hi Lee,

Sorry you are feeling so low.Everyone has different effects so it is hard to say.the nurses told me to take the anti sickness tabs because they dont work once you start actually being sick.Personally i was never sick anyway and never took any.I ate a lot of mashed potato and ice cream (not together)which seemed to keep it at bay.

Dont worry about others,they will understand as long as you explain.this is your time to be selfish.If things do not improve ring the nurses,they are there to help and dont want to see you suffer.I am sending you a get better hug and hope it all wears off soon.Chin up lovely girl,there IS a light somewhere in that tunnel.

Loads of love

Rose. xxxxxxx

Hi Lee

The chemo affects everyone in different ways, and it effected me slightly differently each session too.

Usually, after a week or so, I'd start feeling a lot better, but the first few days were always the worst.

Keep drinking plenty of water, and just do what your body tells you to do - rest when you need to and let everyone else look after themselves until you're ready to be bubbly again - which you will be - don't worry.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

If you haven't got over the nausea by the rest of the weekend, then why not give your chemo nurses a call - they can give you more anti-sickness stuff if you need it.

Once you start picking up again, make sure you give yourself plenty of treats - ice cream/retail therapy/ coffee with pals/ whatever will give you a lift.

You're doing well - just dig in there, girl

shents x

Hey Rose - we must have been typing replies at exactly the same time!

Hope you're well

Shents x

hi lee

aw i feel for you so much. really hoped you'd be like the others n not feel that bad. i hope it only lasts a short time for you.

i found after a week, week n half, i was feeling ok again. i did feel like you do, sick, head rushes with intense pain briefly n couldnt eat though was very hungry. you need to get some complan/or ensure for a start. its milkshake but with all the goodness you need. then at least your getting what you need food wise. get yourself some ginger biscuits aswell cos it helps with feeling sick n the awfull taste in your mouth. walk slower n get up slower cos im sure that can help too. other than that you just need to try different things n see what tastes nice to you.

its not nice to be ill lee. but we are. we want to carry on as normal cos its all we know n how we live our lives. but you need to give this some time n remember how strong you are. you have a wonderfull family n husband n they will understand. all of them n us just want to help. you need to take a back seat for a while.

chin up lovely lady, your in my thoughts.

lots of love leonie xxxxxx

Hi guys

felt a little better today, even had some toast for breakfast, will try the ginger biscuits and my mum has bought me some complan....so the battle continues! I'm trying to be positive its just the road ahead seams so long and the finish line so far away, some days I just feel like giving up....However! I wont and thanks to all of you I don't feel quite so alone.

God bless you all Lee xx