Hi to each and everyone of you don't you think that we are all quite amazing to be able to even be able to come on here and tell our stories I feel like I'v made so many new friends.

Anyway Leonie I'm so glad that you've managed to get some funding for nursery at least you know that Charley will be having a nice time whilst you gain some energy back. You really are having a rough time of it but how nie that you could get to the beach, I take it you live nearby to one. That must be lovely. As for having a looney doctor me too!! Just nice to be able to speak to someone who doesn't judge and you can say what you want about anything!!!!

Don't know bout you lot but I have all different feelings creep up on me when I least expect them. People who are close to you want to see you positive all the time and tell you how well you look and now i'v lost my hair how much it suits me but no matter what personally I just don't feel remotely like the same person. People say losing hair and putting weight on are least of worries but it does alter how I feel about myself and has affected my confidence.

Anyway each and everyone of you if I don't mention you by name doesn't mean I'm not acknowleding your messages but I do think about you all.We are all at different stages and will hopefully stick together through thick and thin.

Take care and hope you are all ok

love Lou

Well said Lou,

There are so many of us on this site now .Good luck and bless you all and the lovely people who care for us.

Rose xxx

dear tony

thanks for your message, means a lot from someone like you. we would try n help anyone who needed it. wanted to message you to say thank you for replying to me in my dark days, n say what a lovely person you must be to help the amount of people you do. just wonderful what you do. hope youre feeling well, take care.

love leonie xxx

Hi girls hope this finds you all well. Just a wee quick question and I know the answer will be different from everyone, but anyway 'How far into your chemo did your hair start falling out'? Col x

hi col. mine was 2 weeks, i shaved it off then cos it was coming out but probably could of got away with 4 weeks.

love xxx

Leonie,

We are all lovely people, I got my fair share of help and still am getting it on my thread....

Reading these stories makes us all part of a very special club...not one particularly that we want to be in but hey we may as well bond and make some great mates along the way....one day we will all meet up down the pub and have a real proper group hug.

Much Love

T x

Hi Leonie thanks, i'll just keep checking the pillow lol. Was up at hospital earlier as my glands felt swollen under my left arm, but lymph nodes removed under right arm and started to worry, anyway doc had a feel about and said i shouldnt worry prob the chemo making the nerve endings tender, but i dunno im feelin a bit strange about it all. I feel even though my consultant has removed lump and lymph nodes and said his margins are clear, i should still have had a ct scan? Did any of you guys have a ct scan before chemo and if so was it because your consultant knew it had spread? Col x

Hi Colly,

I dont know of anyone who has a CT scan at this point.I had mastectomy and 17 lymph glands removed under arm 3 years ago and sometimes if I pull or push something under my arm feels as if it is swollen even though it isnt.It is a wierd feeling.Your arm is still producing lymph which has to flow somewhere so it does collect and feel odd..I know any lumps and bumps start us thinking that there is something sinister lurking but that is a normal reaction.Hope the Dr can put your mind at ease.Good luck.

Rose xxxxxxxxxx

hi col

things do feel strange once started chemo, aches n pains all over. i take it doc didnt think it was wortha ct scan, n they do know best. i had 1 cos they though it had spread n luckily it didnt show any lumps of cancer but blobs which they werent sure about n left to chemo. mine was very agressive cancer n sure its different for each. try not to worry but if you do go back or call cancer nurse.

love leonie xxxx

Thanks Rose and Leonie, I woke up today and feel as though ive swollen glands in my neck, so hopefully it is just the chemo, this is the week where i should be feeling at my lowest, tho apart from that i feel fine and dandy, was away out clothes shopping with my youngest daughter, who is a very petite size 8, but 5ft 8 and looks amazing whatever she wears, so it was fun, got a couple of things for myself size 12 which look huge next to her wee items lol, oh to be 20 again. Anyway was supposed to go out for a meal with John tonight but decided to get a chinese and stay in and watch spain v paragauy and sit with my feet up,too tired after the shopping spree, even tho the nurses say dont eat spicy food, but i did just have a sweet and sour chicken, so hopefully that wont do me any harm ~(watch this space) lol. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Colette x

Lonie and ladies,

I have just responded to Hntina and told her what a lovely group you are and that she should come on right over and get some support - hope you don't mind?

Her stream is :

Much Love

T xx

Hi Girls and Tony

You all are so great how you can keep up with so many messages - me, I can only handle one a day as my typing skills are to be desired, lol. Anyway, have read your messages up to date and nice to keep up and see how you all are getting on. Hope you all had a great weekend as I did. It was nice to celebrate my first weekend without a wig - my wig was getting unbearable - my 2 young children were happy to see mummy feeling better too, especially in this heat. I was getting the look but tbh I wasn't bothered. All i have to watch is I don't get it sunburnt, lol.

Take care and have a good week, Liz

Hi Girls and Tony

You all are so great how you can keep up with so many messages - me, I can only handle one a day as my typing skills are to be desired, lol. Anyway, have read your messages up to date and nice to keep up and see how you all are getting on. Hope you all had a great weekend as I did. It was nice to celebrate my first weekend without a wig - my wig was getting unbearable - my 2 young children were happy to see mummy feeling better too, especially in this heat. I was getting the look but tbh I wasn't bothered. All i have to watch is I don't get it sunburnt, lol.

Take care and have a good week, Liz

Hi Liz and all the others here

Glad you have felt confident to go wig-less. I have just answered the door to a delivery man without even a hanky on my head. First time I've felt brave enough to do anything like that, but my hair is slowly making a comeback and I don't think it looks too bad...and its far too bloomin hot for bearskin wigs anyway. My 2 little kids are also now used to their skinheed mum, but not sure if they'd like me out in public like that yet...couple more weeks maybe.

You can see Sinead Shents by following the link to my blog. Please feel free to leave a comment on how I could style it better...

Love to you all -

Shents x

Hi Sinead

Just had a look at your pic with your skinhead and you look fab, right now I cant imagine me being brave enough once my hair falls out, but hey you never know. It is certainly too cold up here in East Kilbride to go out without something on your head and thats even if you have hair, the weather is awful, really wet and windy, the farmers seem to love it but I dont lol.

Anyways well done! Colette x

Well done you Shents, or should I say Sinead??? Your blog is just fab....Excellent - it's just too darn hot eh. I have been calling myself, annie lennox - lol. So with you and me together - anymore 80s pop lookalikes to join us?

I said to one of my daughter's mums - i have got the annie lennox look going on and they said annie who?? (LOL)

Shents,

You mean that isnt really a sketch of you on this site?

You are beautiful on the outside as well as the inside !!!I love your blog,you should write a book of your journey,you certainly have a gift of holding the readers, attention and keeping it interesting.Your son sounds as laid back as mine although mine is now 28 and still says dont panic as everyone is running around.They wind you up a treat and then make you melt just before we strangle them.

Glad to see you looking so well

Rose xxx

Hey there,

I have left a message to say you look bloody lovely...

At 46 I remember my youth as a skinhead when I used to love the girls with the shaved heads (obviously still do! )

By the way, if you are bored anyone, please feel free to have a look and follow my blog!

tonysonghurst.blogspot.com/

Much Love

T xx

Hi Sinead

I agree you do look lovely without your hair and I have nothing but admiration for you, I hope that once mine falls out, I too will have the courage to go oh natural!!.

In my heart of hearts I know I'm just clinging on to a dream but for now its all I have so I guess when those first strands start to fall the clippers will have to come forward and do their thing.

I do love reading everyone's posts they are so inspiring so thankyou everyone and also to you Tony you seem to be able to comfort everyone with your wise words (thankyou)

Im not sure whats going on with my computer at the moment but it keeps jumping into rich text and wont let me edit it to change it, if anyone has any ideas how to change this I would be most grateful x

Lots of love Lee x

HI Lee,

Glad you were able to find a wig that you like.If you do loose your hair you will have to tell us who you look like and we shall start a new thread where everyone has to add their lookalike without hair.i had visions of sinead Oconnor as well but looked more like Matt Lucas from little Britain.On the plus side you save a fortune on shampoo !www.cancerchat.org.uk/.../!! I didnt go out without my wig(unlike Matt) and they are so good now that no-one could tell.Dont forget to use chemo to its best advantage if you cant get an appt. at the dentist or doctors.i just say Oh OK the only thing is im on chemo and appts appear from nowhere.

We have to have some good out of this.;)

sorry cant help with your computer.I thought you liked to shout a lot!! Ive only just found out how to put a smilie on here.

Good luck.You sound so much more relaxed than your first post.

Rose xxx

Hi Rose

Yes I do feel a lot more relaxed now, and that is thanks to all of you, my surgeon is really pleased with my more positive approach and when I explained how I had met you guys online he asked for the website so he could recommend it to future patients.

I promise as soon as I go bald I shall post a picture 1st with my hair 2nd with no hair and then 3rd with wig hair, there has been some laughter today trying on the different wigs I didnt realise how different a hair style can change your appearance Ive been so boring all my life having the same style ...so heres to a new me x

Lots of love lee

Hope this isnt shouting he he x

Thanks everyone for your kind comments - much appreciated.

My little girl had a friend home for tea this afternoon, and she asked if she could see my hair. I took my bandana off, and she stroked my little fluffy head so gently.

I felt like a pet rabbit!

You're all doing so well. Its wonderful that we have this forum to give each other help and support.

Keep going everyone - stay positive

Much love

Shents

hi girls

well we had a right weekend of it. saturday lunch a kid knocks on the door, liams broken his leg or something! we called an ambulance. oh god whats happened?! jon goes to car, wouldnt start. so off he ran. liams crying n got a hole in his leg jon said. he fell off a branch he was sitting on not very high up, then a broken 1 stuck in his leg. his mate had to lift his leg up to get it off the branch. so jon runs home then to garage to get a new battery n tries to run home again. ambulance takes liam hospital n we follow once mum n dad arrives n key was working. jon is knackered on drive over!

so anyway, doctor said he would have to go to surgery. needed to make sure it was clean n try to close it up. after a few hours they move him to kid ward. liams being wheeled in his bed n heres me in wheel chair following him. what a sight! 7pm n he still hadnt gone down for op. then we were told he wouldnt be going down til about 10. not ideal for me to stay in hospital with infections n ill people so jon drove me home. so i had charly to look after with dylans help n jon goes back to hospital to stay with liam. 3 nts they were in! luckily he was a good little boy, til mon after nursery. then he was a right mardy ******! liam went for 2nd op on mon n luckily hadnt tore any tendons n had it stitched up. it was size of a golf ball n inch n half deep, tore through his muscle but should be fine as it heels. hes been a soldier n handled it all so well. but ive been stressed, worried n very tired. feeling better today apart from 'the legs'. jon however, is dead knackered after 3 nts of hospital. we are back there tomorrow to sort out about rads. dylan went to school today only to call up about 11, i feel sick mum. oh not something else!

so as you can imagine, we are hoping for a quiet weekend. might not get it like, but still hoping. hows you lot doing then? i hope treatment is going well for you all. patrica? where are you? miss you we do! anyway take care all of you.

lots of love leonie xxxx