Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 4 replies
  • Views 338 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Where’s the positivity gone?

SJ23
Offline

I’m a positive person and my cancer treatment for secondary metastatic breast cancer has been positive so far: my bone pain has stopped, my liver blood test results have improved massively, I have more energy, I’m eating better, I’m getting out each day and enjoying life. So why do oncologists knock you down with, you must remember you came to us with a very aggressive and advanced cancer… It took a conversation with a colleague to remind me all these were fantastic positives that needed celebrating to improve wellbeing. 

Starting to feel depressed and need to talk to someone. Would someone at Maggies be good or should I reach out to my community palliative care team? I’ve not had a 1:1 chat since diagnosis 3 months ago. Thinking it’s time now. 

  • Although I can't recommend Maggies myself (I live in Northern Ireland and we don't have Maggies here) I've noticed several posts on this forum speaking highly of it. Why not give them a try? Take care and very best wishes.

  • Offline

    Hello SJ23,

    l attended Maggies in Inverness going through stage 4 cancer treatments.The oasis of calm and caring was the thing that kept my head up at a dark time, as l struggled to keep on the path and inch my way out of that bleak abyss l found myself in.They provided the respite to my mind that allowed it to fully regain control of my actions and reclaim the positivity l needed to stride out along the road to recovery..That from the outside looking in seems such a little thing and yet had a powerful impact that continues to drive me forward to this day.l owe a large portion of the credit why l made it through to the good side.

    If you have not worked it out by now, its speak with Maggies, or better still attend one of their centres if possible, and give it a few visits before judging the impact. Doctors heal the body but you need that extra something to heal the mind.

    Best wishes for you in moving forward and keep looking for your horizon,

    David

  • Offline in reply to gruntifen

    Hi David,

    thank you for your recommendation and insight into the help and support they can offer at Maggies. I’ll try and pop in over the next couple of weeks and get a conversation started. I’m glad you got the help needed to avoid going deeper into the abyss. I feel like I’m jumping around from this treatment is working, to how to plan a funeral, and everything in between!

    I love that you refer to your road to recovery, a phrase usually saved for primary cancer and secondary cancer gets purposefully left out. I have found this use of palliative care focusing on pain management and quality of life difficult to get my head around compared to the beating cancer/cancer survivor/life after cancer spread across the media.

    i hope you are doing well and still on that road to recovery with control over which road you take next.

    best wishes,

    Sue

  • Offline in reply to SJ23

    Hi Sue,

    I am sorry to hear that this is getting you down, despite your usual positivity. It sounds as if you have a lot of positives to celebrate, for which I'm glad.

    I have availed of the services of both Maggie's and the Palliative Care Team. While both are outstanding services, I found the Palliative Care Team is excellent at the management of pain, quality of life and forward planning, which are all practicalities that need to be dealt with, but not necessarily dwelt upon. Having put all our preparations into place, we still have a life to live and, to do that to the best of our ability, we need to be mentally strong.

    I found Maggie's the more positive and helpful of the two, in this respect. As David has said, it helped him to " inch my way out of that bleak abyss l found myself in". This is no small thing and restoring this positive mindset to beating cancer and being a cancer survivor, helps many of us to cope with this disease, no matter how bleak the outcome appears. Palliative Care steps in again at the end of life, and please don't think that I am knocking it in any way. We all go through different stages of life and it sounds as if it's Maggie's for you at present. A prognosis is just a "guesstimate" of our situation and many people survive this by a number of years with the help of The Almighty and of a positive mindset.

    I would agree with David. You will find it helpful to drop in the the Maggie's Centre and can judge for yourself the impact of these visits. You can also book counselling sessions on a one-to-one basis. They also offer a number of other free services, which you might helpful to avail of, so do investigate these.

    I sincerely hope that this helps you regain your equilibrium and allows you to move forward again.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.