Hello Gina246,

l feel your anxiety having been through a similar scenario 12 years ago, cancer tumour in bowel, nearby lymph node inflamed, subsequent spread into liver with 60% eventually excised.

Our cancers will all be different but certain things we all will share.The first being lose the why me and the what if that burdens your mind in the small hours, it is what it is and no amount of trawling through your yesterdays will change that. You need your mind calm with clarity and focus to deal with the situation you face.Accepting you can only bring one thing to table, the very best you, mind and body to allow the medical professionals best efforts to have the maximum impact and success.

Never underestimate the pressure of stress will place upon your body and its ability to cope with that and the medical interventions that will take place. Do not give your unwelcome invader any assistance or advantage.

Like everything in life it becomes easier to deal with anything once you know what you face, but worrying about what that might be will not change that, just weaken and drag you down at the very time you need to rise up.

Did l say this will be easy, of course not,it will be a long hard slog, but it will be important to have the best you on your side as you travel the path that stretches before you over a horizon.There will be branches off that you cannot see at present that could lead you to a future you desire

If you have access to a nearby MAGGIES centre use it, they are an oasis of calm and understanding, you will much help from many quarters on your journey, use them all to your maximum benefit

Go forward genttly with yourself, arm yourself with the personal weapons of resolution your mind can bring, and know that when in the darkest moments, they will be there to carry you through

 Take care,

David

Hi David,

Your message brought me to tears. Thank you so much for taking the time to send it to me and share your cancer journey with me too. I shared it with my dad yesterday, who has prostate cancer and your words resonated with him too.

I am definitely going to look into Maggies too, so thank you for the recommendation. 

I think I definitely need to stop being so hard on myself and questioning everything. Finding peace with it whilst still fighting I think is the answer. 

Thank you so much. 

Gina x

Any update OP

Hi, 

Sorry for the delay, a LOT has happened in the past 23 days beside recovering from my hemicolectomy and removal of my stage 4 bowel cancer obstruction.

I had my appointment and unfortunately the delay in moving along with my results to a specialist had meant that my liver tumour had increased from 0.8cm in February… to over 10cm by the end of April- back to stage 4 again. This put me in a poor position to be honest and I was very frustrated that I was made to wait as the hospital I was under wasn’t a liver specialist. It wasn’t my consultants fault it was him waiting for other people to discuss my care with him to move it forward.

I relented and sought other means to get this expedited as at the rate it was growing, the prognosis looked bleak. 

Since then I have had amazing care from a team at a London hospital who have given me numerous scans, blood tests, tailored chemotherapy and more that hopefully will lead my tumour to shrink enough to be operated on in August. 

For the first time in my journey since my emergency op, I feel like I am going to make it. They truly want to fix me and not just extend my time. This has led me to want to fight even harder and push myself to be healthy and follow their advice to give me the best chance to have this all under control as much as possible by Christmas.

So still a long road ahead and I’m taking David’s advice from before… not letting this cancer win. 

To anyone who is in the same position and is sitting waiting for answers from your NHS hospital… please express to them how important it is to get that referral to a specialist as early as possible. Don’t sit and wait because it’s a bank holiday weekend, send them that email or give your cancer team a call to remind them you’re still waiting. Be kind… they’re just doing their jobs and they are super busy. But it doesnt hurt to be proactive and just perhaps speak to the right person who understands and manages to help you get to the next stage of the conversation.

I hope this helps someone to show there is faith and I hope to be able to update you at the end of July with good news that my surgery is going ahead. Fingers crossed, wish me luck.

Gina x

Thank you for the update