Hi Fluff1,

I had a double mastectomy in 2021 and a double reconstruction in 2023.  At the time I was so focused on surviving I didn't stop to think how I was feeling.  But several years on I realise how breast cancer has been a journey of loss: of my breasts, my femininity and of who I was before the cancer.  Don't feel guilty about grieving for what you have lost, especially after going through such tough treatments.  It's really tough reimagining yourself after being touched by cancer, and having visible scars makes it even more difficult.  Be kind to yourself, and give space to the sadness, grief, and sense of loss that comes with all the horrible interventions we have to help us survive.  Like Appledore said, it takes a long time but it does get better, even though the sadness and grief do come back every now and then. But I try to remind myself that feeling sad is OK as it means I'm still alive and I can try to do things I love while feeling sad.  It took a lot of therapy to get here :)

I hope you are recovering OK from your surgery.  It really helps when you can start doing things you enjoy again.x

Thanks for your reply it takes some getting used to how cancer changes so much in your life. Best wishes 

Thanks for your reply it takes some getting used to how cancer changes so much in your life. Best wishes