This happens for many cancer patients, including myself. Not just friends & acquaintances but sometimes family members can become strangers. I've been a cancer patient for many years & I've grown a thick skin which means I say it as I see it.

People who can't handle your cancer are selfish, end of. Some will say that they can't handle seeing you so ill - that's because it reminds them of their own mortality but they should pull up their big girl/boy pants & realise that THEY are not the ones dealing with cancer. Those that say they don't know what to say or that they can't go out & have fun with you anymore are just purely selfish. Friendship and family relationship should be like marriage - in sickness & in health, because it reflects true life - everyone at some point in their life will become seriously ill & they too will need their friends & family for support. 

My advice is, if they aren't close friends, just accept they are not true friends & don't lose sleep over them. If it's close friends or a best friend or even a relative, write them a letter and ask them why they have become distant & that you miss them. It may make them sit up & realise that they haven't been in touch or they may not reply. The ones that don't reply aren't worth knowing &, as David said, there are new friends out there who are worth knowing. You will also find support from those you least expect it from. 

I don't know your circumstance but, if you can, I suggest you join a local community group of some description. I joined our local community choir & now have a new set of friends & singing is good therapy for the soul. I also have some close friends now who are in a cancer group I joined - we all understand what each other is going through & it's great to meet up for coffee or lunch & chat about anything except cancer. Don't wait for your old friends to see the light - go out & find new friends that brighten up your life. It's their loss.

Take care,

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

This happens for many cancer patients, including myself. Not just friends & acquaintances but sometimes family members can become strangers. I've been a cancer patient for many years & I've grown a thick skin which means I say it as I see it.

People who can't handle your cancer are selfish, end of. Some will say that they can't handle seeing you so ill - that's because it reminds them of their own mortality but they should pull up their big girl/boy pants & realise that THEY are not the ones dealing with cancer. Those that say they don't know what to say or that they can't go out & have fun with you anymore are just purely selfish. Friendship and family relationship should be like marriage - in sickness & in health, because it reflects true life - everyone at some point in their life will become seriously ill & they too will need their friends & family for support. 

My advice is, if they aren't close friends, just accept they are not true friends & don't lose sleep over them. If it's close friends or a best friend or even a relative, write them a letter and ask them why they have become distant & that you miss them. It may make them sit up & realise that they haven't been in touch or they may not reply. The ones that don't reply aren't worth knowing &, as David said, there are new friends out there who are worth knowing. You will also find support from those you least expect it from. 

I don't know your circumstance but, if you can, I suggest you join a local community group of some description. I joined our local community choir & now have a new set of friends & singing is good therapy for the soul. I also have some close friends now who are in a cancer group I joined - we all understand what each other is going through & it's great to meet up for coffee or lunch & chat about anything except cancer. Don't wait for your old friends to see the light - go out & find new friends that brighten up your life. It's their loss.

Take care,

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)