Hi has any one eles had problems with friends and peaple you always helped or new for years just stopped talking to you or don't talk or chat see how you are feeling alone and sad that friends been alful at time need them
people can be funny things, absolutely fine when everything is bowling along as normal, but step out of the ordinary and it can all change. Its almost like they think they may become tainted by association,much like when a couple split.There's suddenly an awkwardness in what was before a trouble free relationship and of course friendships are all about feeling good ,and suddenly you go and spoil it by bringing miserableness and uncertainty into the equation.You need to reflect that most friendships are formed in happy times and you break the mould when you step away from that. Its not that people are nasty,just that they seek good feelings and sadly you are no longer the provider of such.
The answer l found is not to dwell in the past but move forward and find new acquaintances and make new friends,if you are upbeat and positive they will find you.Walk that path in life and you will find a good number of old friends will return as their fears around you abate.
l do not know your personal circumstances but acknowledge this may prove to be easier said than done, but a good start point would be by visiting a MAGGIES centre if you have one close,There you will be surrounded by people in a no pressure environment who can give to you and take from you, after all is that not what friendship is all about
l hope you continue forward into positivity, springs on its way,so put a bounce into your step,
This happens for many cancer patients, including myself. Not just friends & acquaintances but sometimes family members can become strangers. I've been a cancer patient for many years & I've grown a thick skin which means I say it as I see it.
People who can't handle your cancer are selfish, end of. Some will say that they can't handle seeing you so ill - that's because it reminds them of their own mortality but they should pull up their big girl/boy pants & realise that THEY are not the ones dealing with cancer. Those that say they don't know what to say or that they can't go out & have fun with you anymore are just purely selfish. Friendship and family relationship should be like marriage - in sickness & in health, because it reflects true life - everyone at some point in their life will become seriously ill & they too will need their friends & family for support.
My advice is, if they aren't close friends, just accept they are not true friends & don't lose sleep over them. If it's close friends or a best friend or even a relative, write them a letter and ask them why they have become distant & that you miss them. It may make them sit up & realise that they haven't been in touch or they may not reply. The ones that don't reply aren't worth knowing &, as David said, there are new friends out there who are worth knowing. You will also find support from those you least expect it from.
I don't know your circumstance but, if you can, I suggest you join a local community group of some description. I joined our local community choir & now have a new set of friends & singing is good therapy for the soul. I also have some close friends now who are in a cancer group I joined - we all understand what each other is going through & it's great to meet up for coffee or lunch & chat about anything except cancer. Don't wait for your old friends to see the light - go out & find new friends that brighten up your life. It's their loss.
