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Partner Diagnosis and I’m struggling

Seagram
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My partner has been recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, his results are low, PSA 6, Gleason 7 (3+4) but the 4 is less than 5%. Grade 2.  He has been told they can cure it with with a removal of the prostate or hormone & radiotherapy.  However both have side effects he doesn’t want.  The hospital recommended active surveillance which I think he will opt for but I can’t get my head round the fact that he doesn’t want to talk about it, won’t tell the family and I believe is going to opt for the active surveillance.

im a very open person and for me talking about things helps, I feel caught between a rock and a hard place.  I want to support him whatever he decides.  I’ve told a few close friends I trust but he doesn’t know that.  The initial diagnosis brought us very close together but now it’s pushing us apparently.

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    Hi  Seagram, and a warm welcome to the forum, though sorry to hear your partner has prostate cancer. You have both just had a cancer diagnosis thrust upon you and your emotions and thoughts will be difficult for a while, my suggestion would be to carry on as normal, I know there are not normal times,  but it's what most guys want, but his stats are very good, giving you both time to choose the right treatment for you, active surveillance is good as long as he's intermediate risk, I too have prostate cancer and like you I am very open, but most guys aren't, though give him a little time and he may open up. Your right about side effects nobody wants them, but not everyone gets them, most are manageable and NOT permanent, can I ask you, have you discussed SBRT with your oncologist, usually comes with fewer side effects, best wishes to you both.

    Eddie 

  • Offline in reply to eddiel

    Thank you Eddie,  I really appreciate your reply.  He has spoken with the team at the hospital today and he is going to see what the next couple of months PSA tests show.  He is having another in January and has a follow up appointment booked, he has been told he can call them anytime.  Can I ask what SBRT is?  Apologies for the ignorance it’s all Very new to me but I’m learning loads.

    i hope your managing your cancer well and are getting good care from your oncology team.

    Seagram

  • Offline in reply to Seagram

    Hi Seagram, no need to apologise, we all start off knowing very little, SBRT is a type of radiation therapy RT, for low to intermediate risk prostate cancer PCa, which as your partner has been offered active surveillance AS, his is. most guys with PCa get 20 fractions "treatments" of RT over 4 weeks as our cancer is a little more advanced so a wider area with a higher dose of radiation up to 73 gy "gy - guys is the unit radiation is measured by",is needed to be target the cancer and in the process a lot of healthy cells in the lower abdomen, bowel and bladder ect are unfortunately hit. SBRT uses much less radiation around 36 gy over up to 6 sessions, usually every other day so much less than 4 months and as SBRT can be targeted much more precisely damage to healthy tissue is greatly reduced, as are side effects. Not all cancer hospitals do this treatment, but you are allowed to change hospitals to one that does. best wishes

    Eddie xx

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    I’m so sorry that your partner has prostate cancer. I just want you to know that I am on your side, you can beat this. Stats are great, you have time, you got this.

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