Dealing with Terminal diagnosis

I was diagnosed in May with a 'G.i.S.T.' (Gastro, intestine, stroma tumour) which can't be cured but managed with chemotherapy tablets, I also had a PR bleed and I bled out and nearly died in July, I had a procedure which clipped 80% of the bleed but I was told by my oncologist on Wednesday that if I start bleeding again I would only have months to live, it's the uncertainty of it all, my life has been completely turned upside down, I'm trying so hard to take it one day at a time and stay positive but I'm not ready to die at 52!!

My friends and family are extremely supportive but no one really knows what I'm feeling and late at night my goes into overdrive and I swing from 'why me' to pure panic of it all, I also feel frustrated that my body can't do what it used to, I'm constantly tired but can't sleep, anyone else feels like this.

I feel so alone and scared by it all.

Parents
  • Hello Keel71, I’ve been browsing these forums and just saw yours and had to respond, as you are in a very similar boat to my husband. He had emergency surgery last October to remove a ‘mass’ that had perforated in his bowel.  This turned out to be a GIST that had ruptured, and although removed, the rupture meant that it spread, so he was diagnosed incurable in April this year. Like you he is on chemo tablets, to keep it stable,I  assume you’re on Imatinib? I urge you to contact the charity GIST UK if you haven’t already - they have been so helpful with information about this rare cancer. They have a helpline plus forums. They will advise on where to be treated - there are specialist GIST centres who are experts in it. I attended a recent meeting in London and there were many people who had been on Imatinib for years, with it keeling the cancer stable. But I’d also say that your feelings are very normal in this situation, it’s very difficult. All the best. 

Reply
  • Hello Keel71, I’ve been browsing these forums and just saw yours and had to respond, as you are in a very similar boat to my husband. He had emergency surgery last October to remove a ‘mass’ that had perforated in his bowel.  This turned out to be a GIST that had ruptured, and although removed, the rupture meant that it spread, so he was diagnosed incurable in April this year. Like you he is on chemo tablets, to keep it stable,I  assume you’re on Imatinib? I urge you to contact the charity GIST UK if you haven’t already - they have been so helpful with information about this rare cancer. They have a helpline plus forums. They will advise on where to be treated - there are specialist GIST centres who are experts in it. I attended a recent meeting in London and there were many people who had been on Imatinib for years, with it keeling the cancer stable. But I’d also say that your feelings are very normal in this situation, it’s very difficult. All the best. 

Children