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Feeling Overwhelmed

helsbels76
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I am 48 and was diagnosed with Stage 1, Grade 2, oestrogen and progesterone positive breast cancer on 1st August and have been told it should be a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. This may change as I had a vaccum biopsy for microcalcifcations (consultant thinks they are benign) and am waiting to find out whether it is HER2 positive. I get my results on Thursday.

Most of the time I am positive and feel almost like a fraud as my cancer is early and can be treated but today I am feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I have caused my own cancer by taking the pill and being overweight. I have been on either the pill or the injection since I was 14 due to heavy periods and am worried I will have to deal with heavy periods and cancer treatment.

I am trying to stay positive and upbeat for my family but today feels really hard.

Has anyone else experienced feeling like a fraud and feeling guilty for feeling anxious and stressed?

  • HI helsbels76,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of how you've been feeling - this is perfectly normal and understandable and I'm sure it's something many others on here will be able to relate to.

    No doubt there will be some days that are harder than others - but do try not to be too hard on yourself. There is no blame here, and you also don't need to feel guilty - you are dealing with a lot right now, as well as some uncertainty while waiting for results.

    I see that today is your appointment, so I hope that things go OK today.

    We are always here for support on the forum whenever you may need it. Hopefully you'll get some more replies to your post here soon - you can also browse or search the forum for other relevant discussions and people to connect with, which may be helpful.

    Take care and wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    Yeah I feel guilty that I'm walking away relatively unscathed. Early detection of grade 2 ductal carcinoma er 8/8 her2 -, clear margins and no node involvement. My breast looks no different after the lumpectomy and if it wasn't for the scar, you'd never know. Radiotherapy might alter my breast size, I've yet to start that treatment though. I have anastrozole to block my oestrogen and suffered no side effects where as others have a horrible time on it. Physically I look fine, mentally I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff. I'm pretty sure most of us think we've caused our cancer, probably because we need an excuse as to 'why us'. I hate when people say be positive, there doesn't seem like a lot to be positive about at times, it's a journey we have to take and get on with it the best we can. It's okay to feel scared and overwhelmed, we all do, it's a normal reaction so don't be hard on yourself. Good luck on your journey x

  • Offline in reply to Haideesmum

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it. I am so happy there wwas no lymph node involvement for you. Your journey sounds very similar to mine and my lumpectomy is booked for 23rd September which seems a long time to wait. I am feeling exactly the same way, physcially nothing is wrong but mentally I'm staring at a black hole.x

  • Offline in reply to helsbels76

    Yes the waits are awful but if they are still waiting for test results to come back that'll explain it. That's probably one of the worst things with all of this, the waiting and not knowing. Realistically with the amount of people getting breast cancer every year, I'm surprised the waiting isn't longer. We do panic and the first thought is get it out, get it out now ! We imagine it's running riot but it  really isn't. I felt like I was forever waiting weeks at a time but when I look back now, I'm like wow, that was dealt with very quickly from the mammogram recall to where I am now. Maybe when your results are back you could ask to be considered for any cancellations, but it'll probably fly by and be here before you know it. Wishing you yhe best x

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