Hiya moongirl.   No matter what anyone tells you, the truth is, you are still going to worry.  You would have to be made of stone not to worry about the fact that you are battling a monster named cancer.  From a logical standpoint, worrying doesn't change anything, but logic doesn't enter the equation when you are quite literally fighting for your life.  It's a bit like when people say, "what's the point of crying, because crying doesn't change anything".  Very true, crying DOESN'T change anything, but it makes us feel a lot better when we do cry.  For me personally, I find that I am okay during the day, but sometimes if I am awake during the night, it hits me like a thunderbolt that I am dying.  The only thing we can do is to accept our emotions and not try to fight them.  take care.