Not sure if I will ever go.back to work some days I feel like I am well enough then my body has other ideas I have now hot a clot on lung which I have been given medication to hopefully disperse it fingers crossed seeing consultant next week will post again eith results take care 

At first they wouldn’t operate because the disease was wrapped around the main artery into my liver .. it was also too wide spread in my peritoneal cavity. After 6 rounds of chemo they said it hadn’t shrunk enough they refused after 3 sessions then 4 sessions and then 6 . I asked again after the 15 sessions of bevacizumab .. it was at its smallest all over my body but she was unwilling to operate as the Parp inhibitors seemed to be working . I’ve been on them for nearly 2 years .. they are doing half a job keeping some areas stable but since the bowel bleed it’s classed as progression so I’ll be coming off them ( not sure what’s next ) chemo I think as I’m now struggling with ascites which means more progression . 
im not giving up by any stretch of the imagination I’m trying so hard to stay positive but it’s quite tough .. 

the fact you’ve had surgery is a godsend I still hope .. there’s lots they can do to give you more time .. I’m 57 too bloody young for this  I have 3 kids and 2 very gorgeous granddaughters ( one on the way .. more girls ) I tend to worry about them and my daughters that my awful gene’s are inherited but at least they are forearmed ..

I wish you every luck on your journey it is not easy but you pull your big girl pants on and face it head on .. 

sending you lots of love hugs

Hi Leelaloo

i completely understand that practice of putting a face on for work while inside you are struggling. The nights really are the hardest although I have recently found that sleep meditation is quite helpful (on the nights that my head is full, nothing works!) forums like this help as you know everyone understands when you talk about the loneliness and the grief. I hope today is a good day for you xx

Hi Tracy

you really are going through the mill and it has made me realise that while surgery and the complications were awful, that I am grateful to have been in a position to undergo it. I just keep thinking of how strong we all are to keep on keeping on despite such a poor prognosis. I feel devastated that I am just going to be a face in a photograph to my 4 year old grandson, that he won’t remember me or how much I adore him. My 2 children are getting genetic testing done as my cancer is caused by the BRCA2 mutation. I just hope it ends with me and I haven’t passed it on xx

I have the BRCA1 mutation .. both my daughters will be tested and hopefully my granddaughters .. my family has a history of breast cancer on my mothers side , she died in 2007 she was 57 same as I am now from bowel cancer and complications so I’m determined my daughters are ahead of the game .. I just got all 3 lucky me ..

I’ve meet a few ladies at ovacome meetings and all of them have had surgery and were doing excellent.. showed me their scars went into detail about how they are living now .. and that’s the point they are living and so are you .. don’t think about the 5 year markers it’s not you you’re an individual and we all react differently.. you’ll be around for him to remember you just think positive and do everything you can to keep your immune system thriving it makes a difference, I’ve had vit c infusions and tried the hyperbaric chamber all which made me feel better .. 2 years 5 months since my diagnosis .. still fighting .. sending love hugs xx