Hi there,

 I’m a stage 4 ovarian too. I’m 56 and have the same fears about the people I’m leaving behind. I’ve had a lot of chemo and debulking surgery. I’m currently waiting on recent scan results. Happy to chat anytime, it’s sometimes helpful to support each other or just talk about things. 

Thank you and apologies for not responding sooner. I’ve gone back to work which has been a struggle at times. Sometimes it just feels futile then other times I am full of positivity. It’s a real rollercoaster.

hope you are doing well x

Thank you and apologies for not responding sooner. I’ve gone back to work which has been a struggle at times. Sometimes it just feels futile then other times I am full of positivity. It’s a real rollercoaster.

hope you are doing well x

I have just read your post and finding out you have got through the sleepless nights and are back at work has made me feel so much more positive x 

Hi Tree-M

here I am having another sleepless night but I am really glad me being back at work has helped you be more positive. It’s hard, and I don’t know that people at work really understand but it was the right thing to do, it gives me something else to focus on other than worry about the next scan results. I hope you are doing ok. Like so many on here, I feel such an intense loneliness that is hard to explain to people who don’t have cancer x

Hi Highlandwoman I know you how feel about the loneliness.  I have terminal breast cancer with mets in spine and pelvis.  I am still at work and I appreciate just being treated as normal.  But sometimes I just want to scream as I feel nobody knows how I feel on the inside.  Outwards I am being positive and joking and trying to keep as normal as possible.  Inside I am scared and lonely and nights are the worst with so much going through my head.  It is such a rollercoaster of emotions and I know I am not alone when I come on this forum.  At least we all understand.  xx

Not sure if I will ever go.back to work some days I feel like I am well enough then my body has other ideas I have now hot a clot on lung which I have been given medication to hopefully disperse it fingers crossed seeing consultant next week will post again eith results take care 

Hi Leelaloo

i completely understand that practice of putting a face on for work while inside you are struggling. The nights really are the hardest although I have recently found that sleep meditation is quite helpful (on the nights that my head is full, nothing works!) forums like this help as you know everyone understands when you talk about the loneliness and the grief. I hope today is a good day for you xx