I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer four weeks ago and am now alternating between despair and anger. The anger is worse as it feels so destructive. I feel completely out of control and cannot imagine a future feeling this way all the time. I live in a country where euthanasia is an option and I find myself talking and thinking about it even though I don't want to die. I just don't know how to live with this. I know no one has answers. I just need to say this.