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Walked out of theatre for Operation

shellys
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Hi everyone,

so I was diagnosed in September 2022 with Triple Negative Breast Cancer and normal nodes but also stage 1 and DCIS I had all the normal things mammogram biopsy and scans and after starting Chemotherapy in September I had several severe panic attacks and the chemo was stopped..

my consultants decided surgery would be better then radiotherapy.

But on Thursday I went in at 7.30am and was still waiting around so didn't get into theatre till 10.45am ..

I had my physiological team with me as the panic and anxiety had got so bad .. I been under them a while after I had agoraphobia for two years after my son was stillborn at 36 weeks. 

I got onto the theatre trolley laid down had the cannula put in and then had a massive meltdown .. I feel so bad that I didn't go through with it ..

now been told there is cancer cells in 1 lymph node but they going to take them all out .. I'm fine with this but cause they worried I won't be able to do two surgeries I've been told I'll now be having a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy.. I'm fine with that too but I'm worried next Thursday when I go back again for Op I won't be able to do it again !! 
I really want my life back it's been on hold for 6 months and I'm scared the cancer will spread and that'll be it .. im only 42 and have 3 children. 

many advice on how to keep calm and do it would really help xx

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    Hello

    I won't be much help..

    But my anxiety is debilitating,  so I completely understand. 

    I had a meltdown too last year in a theatre, in the end the knocked me straight out.

    I take propranolol to calm ..

    I have a hospital appointment tomorrow and I'm already panic stricken. 

    I just wanted to say your not on your own in this. 

    Sending you the biggest hug I have x

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    Hi shell 

    bless you this sounds horrendous.

    please go ahead with the operation as you can be cancer free , by prolonging this the cancer stays in your body .

    please just think you are saving your life by getting this operation done to be with your children safe forever more if there is no operation you can't be safe it's more safe to go get the operation done .

    pkease think of it as a positive day cancer free when you wake up 

    big hugs I wish you the best 

     

    love Lara ️

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to laraj

    Thank you, I will do it this time as you said I think of my children and will be happy cancer free x

  • Offline in reply to Fallmare

    Thank you, anxiety is a horrendously difficult thing but I've asked to be knocked straight out next week.

    good luck with your appointment tomorrow x

  • Offline in reply to shellys

    Shells 

    hope you are ok 

    have you had your operation yet ? 
     

    im sending you loads of positive vibes if you haven't had your operation yet coukd you possibly ask your team if you can arrive as late as possible so your anxiety is less ? 
    for my operation I arrived at 5 pm my operation was 6 pm I went to a private hospital the time was booked I don't suffer with anxiety but I do sympathise 

    I wish you lots of luck big hugs love Lara ️

  • Offline in reply to laraj

    Hi Lara, 

    I'm going in again on Thursday got to be there at 7.30am and will be given a sedative and cannulated in my room before being taken to theatre at around 8.30am. I'm determined to do it this time no matter what but when your head and heart tell you something different it's hard.. but I know I can do it this time. 
    thanks for checking in with me x

  • Offline in reply to shellys

    My wife nearly did the same thing just before her op last year. She said she has no fear of going under or with procedures in general, but she just freaked. She was ready to bolt. She mentioned this to the nurse as she was lying waiting on the anaesthetist. The nurse said she's seen a fair few folk up and bolting.

    My wife said what bothered her was everything was too quiet, and the clock ticking was doing her head in. She said had people been speaking, she'd have been fine. But a sense of impending doom just washed right over her. She's in next week for her 2nd and final reconstructive surgery and says she feels better this time as it's a lesser op than the last one. So she gets where you're coming from and she doesn't even have the same anxiety as yourself.

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