My loving partner was diagnosed with bowel cancer three years ago. It continues to be a rollercoaster ride and he is living with a stage 4 diagnosis, scan to scan. The cancer spread to his liver and lung. We have two young children and until recently managed to still live a happy and busy life, whilst navigating chemo, scans and operations.
Over the past year, he has become a Jeckall and Hyde character. Making plans, being involved in family life, Going out on dates one minute. Then saying he doesn't want to be with me, doesn't like, fancy or love me and telling me I need to find somewhere else to live. He in turn has become paranoid and jealous, accusing me of cheating. I am either with children or at home, I am lucky to be able to work from home to maximise time at home. We have just come back from a lovely holiday and again today he turned. Saying I am the worst decision he ever made etc...I questioned if he was seeing someone else and he really flew off the handle. I don't think he is but I questioned why he wants to go off and spend time on his own. (We have a house in the south and he has started to spend the odd couple of days there. I thought to recuperate). I don't think he would do it to our family but I am questioning everything now.
I am at my wits end and I just feel heartbroken. I thought we were happy, I love him and I love our family. If we didn't have children I might think slightly differently but I love him and I think he's taking it out on me. He does have friends but doesn't talk to them, he won't try counselling. I called a support line and they basically told me I am being coercively controlled. He's stopped working and his works has shrunk considerably. I have thrown myself into school life and have a fantastic group of friends who are very supportive. I don't know what to do anymore but I would never forgive myself if I didn't allow my children precious months / years with him. He is a good father and I think this is one of the things that has kept him going. The saddest thing is he's my best friend and I only want to talk to him and work it out. I just don't know what to do for the best. It breaks my heart what he's going through but I can see these behaviours are unacceptable and I do not deserve it. I have considered talking to one of his friends but this might land badly when he eventually finds out. He's a typlcal old skool and private man. I just want my best friend back and I want our family together for as long as possible.
