Hello Sueby

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling so anxious ahead of starting your treatment. It's already a difficult time for you and to now be navigating these additional anxieties, well it's understandable that you may feel overwhelmed by everything. 

I'd suggest getting in touch with your GP to let them know how anxious you're feeling at the moment. They may be able to suggest something to help manage things in the short term. You might also want to consider getting in touch with the hospital PALS team. Their role is to help resolve concerns or problems when you're using the NHS.  

You might also find it helpful to have a look at the Every Mind Matters information on the NHS website which has tips and advice for managing anxiety. 

If you think it might help you['re most welcome to chat things through with one of our nurses for some support and advice. They're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. I know they would be happy to talk things through with you and offer any reassurance and information they can. 

I do hope you're able to access some additional support Sueby and that things settle ahead of starting your treatment. 

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi sorry that you are experiencing abrupt staff, you could ask if your Covid test can be done locally rather than travel to have it. Do contact the PALS department at the hospital.
They need to know about this department and their treatment of patients. 
Don't let a few stop you having your treatment, you can ask if they have an out laying hospital nearer your home where you could have the chemotherapy. 1:5 hrs seems a long way to travel. 
l hope you have your treatment soon take care 

susie 

Hi Susie

I have asked and I they said the only place I can have my bloods and COVID test is at their hospital.  So on Tuesday next week I have to travel all that way.  I just hope there is no waiting around as that is what makes me anxious. 

Has anyone experienced this type of chronic anxiety before starting chemo?  I am not eating and barely leave the house.  I am absolutely dreading going to the hospital on Tuesday for the tests and dreading the chemo starting on Thursday next week. 

Sueby,  I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I've just finished my treatment and felt very much the same as you way back at the beginning. I have some deep seated issues from previous trauma and as my first appointment loomed I actually convinced myself that dying was an easier option than going for the treatment. The first thing I did once I acknowledged this was went to my gp who prescribed me some diazapam and asked for an urgent referral to the cancer psychology service. I was still an absolute wreck on my first day of treatment but I did it! I truly believe you can too with the right support. 

I wholeheartedly agree with noelw. My experience at the cancer centre was so positive and filled with the most wonderful staff who I eventually looked forward to seeing each day and strangely miss now I'm not going each day. I also made some really good friends in the other patients who I have kept in touch with. 

I was also really fortunate that I never had any side effects from chemo apart from tiredness and ringing in my ears, but I was also having radiotherapy everyday too which contributed to the tiredness. Absolutely no sickness or nausea and quite enjoyed the time to put my feet up, read my book or catch up on things I wanted to watch on my tablet. Things I never had time to do because I was so busy with work and family. 

I came out the other side looking at things from such a positive point of view and I honestly believe you can too. I think you will already have started your treatment by the time you see this, at least I hope you have because your life matters and you have to take control. The staff who have made your life more difficult, as noelw said are in the wrong job. Report them and move on and fingers crossed the rest of the staff you come into contact with will be as wonderful as all the ones I was lucky enough to have involved in my care.

One thing I found that helped me was learning box breathing or 4 way breathing. There are a ton of videos on YouTube if you're interested. If you can control your breathing, you can control your body's reaction to stress. I highly recommend learning and practicing this. 

I hope you manage to have the Xmas you want and that 2023 is the year you can stand up and say "I did it!" My friend bought me a tshirt that was very apt. It said "scared sh**less and doing it anyway"! That was my mantra throughout my treatment  

Much love and positivity xxxxx

Thank you so much for your comments and best wishes.  I had my first 3 hour chemo session last Thursday and have my next one this Friday. 

The hospital leaves a lot to be desired (in fact, the receptionist slammed the phone down on me the other day when I asked her politely to stop being to rude...). The hospital is in the Midlands and is under special measures.  No-one even spoke to me for an hour after I arrived for my first chemo session (this was after they had delayed the start of my chemo by 2 hours as the doctor hadn't signed it off...). 

Sadly a friend of mine is experiencing the same thing with this particular hospital and other friends have gone through this themselves.  Such a shame when so many nurses dedicate their shifts and indeed their whole careers to actually caring for patients. 

Can I ask, did anyone get through chemo for TNBC without significant side effects? 

Much love and best wishes to all of you, 

Sueby

Oh no im so sorry. That's really awful to have to be dealing with. I'd say just report every incident but you need your strength to focus on getting well not dealing with nasty, badly trained staff I'm so angry for you. 

I did sometimes have similar with chemo sessions when there were delays with pharmacy sending drugs up, then I'd be sat there an hour with nobody even letting me know what was going on. I just figured everyone was really busy and we were all there for the same reason, so go with the flow. Unfortunately, we can't always control what's going on around us, only our reaction to it. 

Is there another hospital close enough that you could maybe request to be transferred to? There isn't really much I can say that will make your situation better but remember to keep your focus on getting well as much as you can. Sending love and positive thoughts xxx

Hi sueby, this is so terrible to read, how can hospitals be so cruel in a situation like this. After reading your reply to me this evening, it seems like all went well at your first chemo session and I hope it continues to do so, sending love x

Thank you so much Jeanie-sedg

It has been absolutely dreadful.  As I said, the hospital is under special measures so hopefully something will be done - it has to be.  

I am keeping a journal and will put a report in when I've finished my treatment, if only to make sure that other patients do not have to go through what I have been through.  Imagine no-one answering the phone in the chemo appointments department!  I called over 25 times one day and my daughter called 27 times.  No answer.  I left 5 voicemails - no one called me back. 

Anyway, I feel as though I am moaning far too much so I've made a calendar and am ticking off each time I have a treatment - 27 to go! 

Please keeping in touch and let me know how you are doing. 

Sueby

It is just terrible, you do right to keep a journal on this, I will keep in touch along the way, thankyou for being so kind x all the very best to you xx 

Hi Loublu 

My first chemo session was delayed by 2 hours, then when we arrived no-one even acknowledged us for over an hour ... 

I asked for a closer hospital but they said the chemo drugs would not travel. 

Thank you so much for your kind wishes.  How are you doing anyway? 

Sueby xx