Hi,

I am very sorry to hear your mother has breast cancer. I know it is worse for the children than for the patient. I know this because when I had my diagnosis, two and a half years ago,I felt fine. The first time I found the abnormality in my breast, my first thought was "Ah!That's how I'm going to go! " There was no fear, just slight annoyance that my life would have to fit around tests and hospital appointments. I wasn't in denial, I was in acceptance, and if I had been 80, rather than 70 I could well have decided not to have the mastectomy. I did decide to refuse one of the drugs offered because the reported side effects were grim and they only offered me a 1% extra chance of living for however many years.
 As it happened I did have the mastectomy and the worst thing about it all was the fact that my surgeon wouldn't take them both off.  Having one dangly lump of flesh that I have no use for any more annoys me! When I mentioned to my daughter that I could have counselling after a few months to prove I was certain that I wanted rid of it and he would remove it, she cried "No!!! Don't put us through that again!" As it really is just an annoyance I have kept the old dangly just to keep the peace. 
So you see, it was obviously worse for my children than it was for me. Also, you think differently about things when you get older and accept things more easily. I promise you there is no overprotective parent as bad as overprotective children who forget that just because we get old doesn't mean we can't still make our own decisions! 
Acceptance is very different from denial. Remember the old saying "Mother knows best"? It's true.

Wishing you all the best xxx