The waiting game

I'm so glad I found this forum and now know that waiting for results is difficult for everyone at times I think I'm just a negative person but it seems the waiting game is tough.  I had duct ecstasia around 8 years ago with no reoccurrence.  I recently decided I would get the lump checked behind my left nipple but wasn't concerned as my nipple has been inverted for 8 years and I fully expected to be told it's duct blockage again.  Came as a shock to find that's not likely. .  3 biopsies on lump and one in Lymph node.  Words used like worried and highly suspicious during consultation.  To be honest I'm in shock that awful sick feeling in your tummy and another ten days till results appointment.  I asked some direct questions but obviously she wouldn't commit till results are in but in her experience I will be having treatment. Keeping as busy as I can but an emotional wreck right now. Relieved to hear this is the norm for most of you awaiting results. 

  • Hi Elvira.  They haven't mentioned  pic line and there was a few questions  I forgot to ask tbh. He talked a lot about avoiding infections colds etc along with the dreaded covid but I have had covid and am double jabbed but to early for my booster.  The big thing I asked was if all goes as it should and no big hiccups at the end of all treatment  are they looking at me being in remission or cured and he said we are aiming for cured which is the goal we all need to be going for.  I am just back from wig fitting as want it all in place so have picked  a wig and also bought a couple of soft cotton pull on bandana type hats and she showed me how to dress the plain one with a scarf she was so lovely.  I wanted her to help me choose while I still had hair don't want that job when I haven't.  I'm not going for the cold cap to try and save my hair as its very fine and I don't think I would have had much success. Not sure what yr plans are but If you need a wig I'd look at that now. I should have start date in next 48 hours. Sending love to you it's a year just one year with the best care and best treatment, we've got this . 

  • Hi Madgee and Elvira114, 

     

    I hope you both are well .  

    I feel tired today ,I think it is all te stress all these weeks!!

    Tomorrow I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon about the masectomy and reconstruction.  I hope he will give me all the advice I need so I can make a decision.  I think I will go with using my own tissue but I know it is going to be painful!

    Are you both have any advice for me please? 

    So much information, I think my brain is going to explode ..

    I wish you both to have a lovely evening..rest well .

    Keep in touch please. 

    We got this

  • Bless you  not sure of yr age but I am 59 so reconstruction  not on my priority list but irrelevant  of age if your appearance  is very important I totally get it because it's very important to have some normality to look forward to and to be the You you want to be when it's all over.  Just research but go for what's right for you  hunn it's so important  you  get thru this and are comfortable with how you look st the end of it all.  Sorry I'm not much help hun x

  • Hi Madgee, 

     

    I had no idea about the reconstruction but the Dr mentioned it during the discussion yesterday.  I am 45 years old . I  am not really sure what I will go for , I just want everything to finish and kill this horrible disease!

    I  hope u have a good night xxxx

  • Hi V1234, 

    I think it's completely normal to feel tired, the stress is exhausting! I hope you still managed to get some sleep?

    I've had a brief conversation with my surgeon, she will do the mastectomy and node clearance and if possible a reconstruction straight away. We haven't discussed it in detail yet as I need to get through chemo first, but in an ideal world, I would do it from my own tissue because for some reason it makes it feel more like 'me'. But if not possible, it's not the end of the world personally either. This is super personal though, you need to do whatever you feel comfortable with. Maybe discuss all the options with your surgeon and they might be able to advise you best :)

    But I agree on wanting evertyhing to finish and beat this things butt!! 

    Madgee I hope you have heard some more news on next steps and went to start treatment. Great shout on the wig shopping.. I've been contemplating on using a cold cap, but have had so much hair loss already from the stress (ironic isnt it) that I'm not sure if making myself more uncomfortable during chemo is worth it. Did you go to a special store? Not even sure where to start!

    Sending love to you both xxx

  • Hi Girls got my date start next Monday just want to crack on now.  Sadly couldn't squeeze my covid booster jab in. My wig lady was lovely and it's really quite nice but need my hairdresser to trim the fringe. I also bought some bandanna type hats and i plan to get a cheaper wig for walks in the winter in case it gets wet. I'm spending the weekend with my best pals at a cottage obviously  all being well they healthy  and all doing lateral flows think that will be great for my mental health and a fab distraction.  Hope you both coping  and ready to rid of this disease so you can move on and enjoy everything  once again.   It won't beat us.  Love to you both we got this xxxx

  • Your so much younger than me hun it might be the right thing for you to have a reconstruction  but you have time to consider your options.  I have spoken with a lovely lady who is coming to the end of this journey.   She chose to have reconstruction  and is about to have her other breast me to match.  I guess it's on howi mportant it is to each individual.   Who knows I may have a change of heart.  Stay positive  and take one day at a time.  Sending love x

  • Hi Madgee and Elvira114, 

     

    I hope you are both well. I was thinking about you both today.

    It has been not a very good day for me today,I was feeling a  bit  down .

    Feeling a bit better this evening when my husband and my daughter came back .

    Have a good night. Sending my love to you both. Stay strong and positive xxx

  • Tomorrow  will be better  hun. We are going to have some really rubbish days on this journey but there will be good days too as we adjust to this new way of life but remember  it's not forever.  Stay strong sending a huge hug. Sometimes  I feel a lot better after a good cry, don't bottle it up, taking is good. Take care  x

  • Hi ladies,

    Madgee- going away for the weekend sounds lovely! Taking your mind off of things and spending some quality time is such a good idea. How are you feeling about Monday? 
    I'd bought a wig over the weekend (just from Amazon for fun) and have decided that I am fully going to embrace the shave and just use bandanas and wigs. It's just hair right? And when else do I get to wear wigs like that? 
     

    v1234- it's ok to have bad days. We're not robots and emotions and anxiety is high when you have to deal with this. Don't be too hard on yourself, try to take it one day at a time and tomorrow is a new day <3  you got this, you're strong!

    Im starting to get a bit anxious about chemo coming up and side effects. Putting a brave face on, but I find it difficult waiting now for 2 weeks for it to start. I know it'll be hard so let's just get this over with! I'm also afraid that the cancer is slowly growing and spreading while I'm waiting for chemo to start, even though my oncologist has told me it won't go that fast. Anyone feels this? 90% if my day I'm my positive bubbly self, but the other 10% dark thoughts creep in.. 

    Thank you lovely ladies for being here, you have no idea how much it means xxx