God really isn’t on my side

Almost 2 years ago my uncle was diagnosed with pancreas cancer and underwent an op to remove the cancer which was a success thankfully however he took his time gaining his health back. But in the last few weeks he has been diagnosed with cancer all over his body which is untreatable, we probably don't have long left with him at all which is devastating for me as he done so much for me growing up and I don't know what to say when I say my goodbyes when I found out I cried for hours and every time I think of him I cry I keep trying to think of what to say but I don't think I'll even be able to get to get words out when I see him. I also lost another uncle last year to cancer but due to covid i wasn't able to say my goodbyes to him and this will be the first time I have had to experience this. On top of all that my mum has been refered for scans and blood tests for abnormal cysts on her ovaries and womb and the way doctors are talking it may also be cancer, how am I supposed to cope with all this I've came to terms with my uncle and his passing there's nothing any of us can do other than make him comfortable but I can't lose my mum I suffer from depression and this is just tipping me over the edge all this loss from cancer is killing me and I don't want to see anyone else in my family suffer from this awful disease

  • Hello Jordan99

    I'm sorry to hear about your Uncle's diagnosis and that your Mum is also waiting on investigations. It's understandable that you're struggling with things at the moment. 

    Please do speak to your GP in the first instance. Let them know how you're feeling so that they can give you some support. 

    I'd also suggest getting in touch with your local Maggie's centre. They are able to offer counselling support to anyone who has been impacted by cancer. You may also want to have a look at the Macmillan website to see if there are any local support services available that you can access. I've linked it for you here

    You're also most welcome to call our team of nurses to talk things through with them if you think it may help. They're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    I hope this helps. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  •  

    Hi Jordan,

    A very warm welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear of all that you are going through and fully endorse Jenn's advice. I lost 7 family members and 2 close friends in 2019. I have also had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 11 years. Dragging myself out of the abyss that these deaths created was one of the hardest things I've done in my life.

    I attended Maggie's and The Haven. Both of these organisations support people impactd by cancer and I cannot speak highly enough of the help that they gave me. Your GP may also be able to help you too. The biggest hurdle is admitting that you have a problem, then people can begin to help you. Instead of dwelling upon the inevitable, try to live in the moment. Don't look too far ahead. Take things one day at a time. Try to support your uncle and your mum as much as you can. Don't leave anything left unsaid. Make as many memories while you have them with you.

    It is too much to cope with the bigger picture just now. Somehow or other we do find the strength to get through heart breaking situations like this.

    Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx