No cure diagnosis

Hi 64 yes young an a nan to 6 grandchildren. Didn't think I would be part of a Cancer forum. Back at Xmas had continuous sore throat an discomfort swallowing so went to doctors who sent me to ENT. All clear so sent me for Bariam meal. Few days laters C T scan then endoscopy but still only thought reflux problem. Devastated when told Stage4 spread oesophageal tumour at connection to stomach. Without treatment 3 to 6 months with treatment could be a year to 18 months. Have been relatively well looked after by system but do think they are so used to dealing with cancer sometimes the personal touch and compassion is lost. I have a wonderful support system with friends and daughters. I live with one now. I am positive an now radiotherapy has strunk tumour I am having my first Chinese takaway tonight. So I live day by day and don't think too much further than that. Keep strong out there Jan

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    Hi Jan,

    I am so sorry to hear about your prognosis. I can certainly appreciate how devastated you must have been when told this and fully appreciate how hard it must be for you to deal with this. I am glad to hear that you have been relatively well looked after by the system, in spite of the current pandemic limitations. 

    As someone who has had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 11 years as well as 3 biopsies for melanoma, I would agree that the personal touch and compassion can be a bit lacking at times. I had to change hospital at one stage because of this and have never regretted this move. I just lost all confidence in my first 'care team' and felt that the 'care' element was totally missing. What a difference I experienced when I moved to another hospital. 

    I am so glad to hear that you have such good support from family and friends. We all need this along with a positive outlook to cope with cancer. I am delighted to hear that radiotherapy has shrunk your tumour. You are doing the right thing by not looking too far ahead and just taking things day by day or even hour by hour as necessary.

    I hope that you managed your Chinese takeaway tonight and that you thoroughly enjoyed it - here's hoping that there will be many more to come!

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi and welcome to the forum the club nobody wants to join.

    Jolamine said most of the things I was going to say.

    But just thought I'd add the forum is like a very big family we all try to help others as much as we can,or its a place to say what you want such as good rant.      I was told that I was uncurable on Feb 2016 and given 5years,. two years ago oncologist changed and I was told palative care. I'm still positive and feeling good, I've prostate cancer gone to lymph nodes spine ribs pelvis and a lung,on permanent hormone therapy and chemotherapy.  I'm also a registered carer for my wife, she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's plus other things.

    Its good your organised with family and friends. And yes definitely one day at a time best idea.    You started me drouling with that Chinese meal hope it was really good. And as jolamine said hope you can have many many more.

    Please keep in touch 

    Billy.

    Alot of people on the forum are living with cancer.

    Hopefully others will join soon, you'll have to remember alot of ladies like there beauty sleep as well as there makeup on.before talking to others.

     

     

     

  • Hi Jolamine

    tgank you for your reply. Glad to hear you are still battling through and hope your cancer stays at bay. I have just eaten my 1st sausage role in over 5 months an the Chinese went down well. Taste buds still need sorting as cannot stand fizzy drinks as taste weird an more savoury stuff tastes better than sweet.

    was upsetting this afternoon though as grandson (live with my daughter an grandsons) was sent home from school as he keeps getting upset when he thinks about how long he will have his nan with him bless. They are arranging councilling for him as I am not sure what to say to him. Try to reassure him I am fine at the moment (he is s 15) and exams coming up soon so hope he can focus on that. Feeling well at moment so just enjoying that well feeling. Take care an stay strong xx

  • Hi Billy an thank you for your post. Am eating well myself at moment an each day energy levels seem to be rising. Due to speak to consultant on 17th tel 9.10am. He will arrange scan to see if tumour shrunk but I know it's done something as couldn't eat before without pain an certainly couldn't manage Chinese or sausage rolls before. I feel as long as I can eat an drink I can fight longer. My daughter dies worry that scan shows cancer spread as every time we have seen consultant it has been news such as incurable inoperable etc but treatable. However my 1st round of Chemo went horribly wrong as had lung seisure an hands like fireballs of electricity muscles felt like lead and constant sickness so ended up on drip in hospital an told by consultant no more Chemo. So will see what he says on 17th. Take care xx

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    Hi Jan,

    I understand that it does take some time for the taste abnormaities to settle. I am delighted to hear that you managed a sausage roll and that the Chinese went down a treat.

    I am so sorry to hear how upset your grandson is about your prognosis. He is at a difficult age to try and process this. You will find that the more positive you and your daughter can be about your outlook, the better he is likely to cope. I sincerely hope that counselling will help him and set him in the right frame of mind to succeed in his exams.

    My own mum spoke to my teenage children when she knew that she was dying. She told them how much she wanted them to succeed in life and that she would be watching over them throughout their lives. Whether that was taken as a solace or a threat I don't know, but both did really well in their exams despite all that was going on.

    I hope that all goes well when you speak to your consultant on 17th and that he will arrange a scan for you soon.

    It's good to hear that you are feeling well at present - savour every moment!

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx