i havent slept a wink

Please talk to someone who can try and put your mind at ease until your hospital appointment... I know exactly how you are feeling I've been through it myself. 

I have spoken to my gp whos says its boderline.

im worried when i go they are going to find something worse. and then ill have to have checks all the time for the rest of my life.

im worried about the hpv and that ill have it forever. 

i feel utterly horrendous x

I was worried as well but borderline changes more than likely will not need treatment. I was fine and just told to carry on with smears every three years. As for hpv most people have had it sometime in their life and your immune system usually clears it with a couple of years... if not regular smears will keep on top of the problem. 

thank you.

do you not worry now you have hpv and changes that at some point itll change? i dont want to be living on a knife edge forever xx

Hpv can leave your system within a few years and as long as you are having regular smears you should be fine...what you have to remember is that it is a very common virus and most people will have had it at some point and never known. 

Let me know how you go on... try not to get too worried about things, I was really worried but everything is fine now.