Hi gem 

Welcome to the forum the club nobody wants to join. 

This forum is very helpful to say what you want to rant and vent all you want or just somewhere to talk to someone else.. 

I'm classed as uncurable now known as palliative care was diagnosed Feb 2016, prostate Cancer gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung, I'm just living with my UNINVITED GUEST was working till recently had to retire to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care she has Alzheimers and parkinsons I'm her official carer (unpaid). If you want to talk I'm here most days.

Billy 

Hi Billy

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.  That's good to know about the forum.  You sound as though you have your hands full!  I hope you're having a decent day today.

Gem
x

Hi gem please don't take this wrong. But if money is becoming a problem. Macmillan nurse should be able to put you in touch with someone to help, it's possible your husband can be paid for being your carer (try carers first).. Nobody tells you, you have to chase everything up.

Good luck with treatment your on. 

Best wishes.... Billy 

Hi Gem64, I'm the other half of the lung cancer partnership as my husband has incurable lung cancer.  He's very down at the moment as he now has shingles and because he can give it to me he feels he is not in control of the situation and says he would rather not be here.  I got cross yesterday with his attitude and said what's the point of all my time and help if that's how he feels.  That hit home and today he is much better although still in pain.  I understand its hard for you as you are the one living with cancer but your partner is trying to be strong for you and its hard for us as we know what the final outcome will be, we will be left alone without our loved one.  So all I'm saying is that when you are sad he is sad and its doubly hard to stay positive for two people!  I know we are in lock down but we have still had a little ride around the block in the car or driven to a village shop and got a bar of chocolate and sat and watched the world go by.  My husband has never got out of the car, but people we know in the village have chatted to him from 6 feet away through the window, it's human contact without being at risk.  As he is still having palliative care we have to visit hospital and the doctors so in my opinion he is always at risk.  I am also phoning friends more, face timing family more, mine are three hundred miles away so I know what you mean.  I hope this helps just a little bit, I'll put you on the follow this person thread if you want to chat again.  Take care, be thankful you have a caring partner as quite a few on this forum don't.  Hugs your way, Carol x 

Hi Gem

Like Carol I am the other half of our jigsaw

We live in Milton Keynes and he's being treated in the new Cancer Centre at the hospital 

Trying to be positive (he's on round 3 of 4 chemotherapy and immunotherapy, and then will be only on immunotherapy going forward) is hard. I'm 54 in June and know I'll be on my own in the not too distant future.

He's had a few really emotional days, but other than that we are trying to stay positive, and strangely enough putting our affairs in order has really helped him. We have new Wills, a Lasting Power of attorney for health, sorted the mortgage, added me to all bank accounts. 

Not sure why this all made him better that emotional week, but it did. You will know what he is going through way better than I can. 

Please feel free to vent on this forum. There are great people here and some will relate better than me with what you are feeling

Snoops

Billy

Money is not really an issue, hubby works full time from home. His company has been exceptional in letting him work from home 3 or 4 days a week, now with this Covid he's at home every day.  I also get PIP which has helped a lot.  I believe Carer's Allowance is means tested?  Not sure about that.

Carol

Funnily enough I'd been reading a lot of your blog over the few days before I posted.  I love how you tell it how it is with a touch of humour. You've both certainly been through the mill, and I do understand what you're saying about me being sad, making him sad too. He's said that to me himself.  I think the hardest thing is that while I have some online friends, we have no actual friends here.  Even though we've lived here over 20 years, we used to work down in High Wycombe 50miles away and never really got to know anyone. We've never been pub people, and live on a private estate of 100 houses half a mile outside a village.  So it's just me and him, lucky we get along so well :)  Please do add me to your thread, thanks for replying x

Snoops
You aren't that far from me really,  we live about 9 miles the other side of Buckingham.  Doing our wills etc is something we really need to do too.  Maybe he felt better after because it's one less thing for you to worry about, knowing the official stuff is all taken care of.  Thanks for your reply x

Hello Gem64,

Since my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer I've often read posts on the forum but not posted myself. I wanted to reply to your post because although I am not the one who has incurable cancer I really relate to your feelings of sadness. My husband has ALK positive lung cancer and is also on a targeted therapy. He is a member of a support group of other cancer patients with the same cancer type and through this he knows there is a similar support group for EGFR patients, they have a website, egfrpositive.org.uk and there is a Facebook group as well. My husband finds it useful being able to talk to other people in the same position to him.

i hope this is of some help

from Torty