Terminal cup cancer

Hi , 

    I would just like to say hello to everyone, 

I was diagnosed with terminal cancer on 13th off December 2019 , told I have about 6months left & I have to say it knocked me & my family for six ,

Start my palliative chemo care on Monday morning & I'm not looking forward to it but if it buys me some time to spend with my twin girls & family then I would do whatever it takes .

One off the hardest things I  had to do was tell the girls (they are only 11) & it broke my heart we waited until after Christmas so we could enjoy 1 last Christmas as a family together & make some memories 

My question is how do you cope knowing you have a limited time left ? My wife has took it really hard & I must admit I'm so angry 

  • Hi Wimbat 

    I saw your post earlier on (I've dipped into this site here and there over the last few years or so). I didn't respond to it but, I must say, it has been playing on my mind and so I came back here to see if anyone had replied (it can be quiet on these forums after the festive period). 
     

    You ask how you can cope knowing you may have a limited time on this earth. I am really hoping that a better poster than I will come along and assist you with this. I just wanted to say that you can come back here any time you want to share anything you like, if you feel that this will assist you to cope with everything that is going on.
     

    There are some lovely, very supportive people here. 

    This is a safe space for you to express whatever you like without any judgement. 

    I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is heartbreaking to think of a family facing such challenging times. You say you're angry and that's perfectly understandable. And acceptable. Of course. Cancer is so unfair (I'm here because one of my parents had it). 
     

    My thoughts are with you, your wife and your children. 
     

    I wish you the best quality of life in the world xxx 

  •  

    Hi Wimbat,

    A very warm welcome to the forum that nobody really wants to join. I am so sorry to hear your prognosis. I think that you have answered your own question about coping with this - try not to think of the bigger picture, take every day as it comes and, make as many memories as you can for your family.

    I sincerely hope that your chemo goes well and, that it buys you some extra time with your family.

    There are a number of people on this site who have surpassed the timescales mentioned by their prognoses, some by quite a considerable margin. Try to approach what time you have left in as positive a frame of mind as possible. Having had 2 bouts of cancer myself in the past 10 years, I know that this is never easy, but it makes all the difference in the world  both for yourself and for your family.

    It is still early days for you and your wife to get your heads around this news and, it is perfectly normal to be angry and all over the place emotionally.

    Please keep us updated on your progress and remember, that we are always here for you any time you want to talk.


    Kind regards,


    Jolamine

     

  • Hi wimbat, not much i can say what has not been said, just be positive and make everyday be a good day. I've been on palliative care since February 2016 and there are others longer. Specialist can only work with what they know even then it a guess, try (i know its not easy) to be positive and live as normally as you can concentrate on the now and just keep going it might be a fight now and again but that's what we're here for to keep fighting. We're doing it so can you........

    Billy 

  • Hi Wimbat,

    So sorry to read about your news, I’m not surprised you feel angry.

    My first advice is to treat any timescales you were given with a pinch of salt. These are averages which work OK for large groups but are very inaccurate when applied to different patients. The statistics make no allowance for the patient’s age, fitness or co-morbidities - all of which are factors in survival times.

    By all means get your affairs in order but concentrate on fighting the cancer and getting the best out of what life you have left. Find out what the five year survival rate is for your specific cancer and do what you can to be a member of that group. 

    Being positive in itself won’t make you survive longer, but it will make it more likely that you will make the right decisions which lead to you surviving longer.

    Good luck!

    Dave