Hi Nin

my treatment for stomach cancer only ended in April but I can understand how you must be feeling and its completely natural. with ongoing tests and scans you're at a heightened state of panic even at 3 years post diagnosis, it's not something you can just let go of. 
 

people assume once treatment ends we can dust ourselves off and carry on as normal but after treatment is the time our minds deal with the trauma and shock. Have you tried counselling at all? I've recently started as I felt I was spiralling with health anxiety and heading for depression, it has really been helping me to talk about my fears and have them validated, I realise I'm not irrational and being scared is normal it's just about learning how to deal with those emotions. As my counsellor says, you can't unsee what you've seen, you can't erase the trauma, you can't face your own mortality in such a scary way and not look back. 
 

please be kind to yourself, seek help if you haven't already, you are not crazy by any means xx

Hi mikeswife

Thankyou so much for your reply, I'm sorry that you've been through this awful disease too and I hope you are physically recovering. Your words made a lot of sense so thankyou for that. I have phoned Force and am waiting for a date to see a councillor as I know this is what I need now. I have tried to be so strong since the beginning especially in front of my two lovely boys, even tho they are in their late 20's I never wanted to make them feel scared or worried so I bounced through it all and now to be honest I think it's hit me since this last scare. I'm just angry that this horrid disease has played such a huge part in my life and brought on the anxiety that I'm feeling now. 

I really hope you will continue to benefit from the councelling. :)
x 

Hi Nin

im 3 years down the line too

i think anxiety goes with the territory 

it's hard to be positive some time people that 

know me rarely ask how I am these days

i look fine so therefore I am 

Keep busy

I only every plan a maximum of 3 months in advance 

I had my 3rd annual mammogram a couple 

of weeks ago I was terrible 

it's a great laxative 

try anything that works for you mindfulness 

helps me it brings me to a calm place 

and be kind to yourself 

get that hair cut and your nails done 

you have a life to enjoy 

xx

Thankyou joanieb, I can relate to what you've said. I feel that people probably think "well 3 years is a long time ago, should be over it now." If only it was that easy eh! . I am hopeful that councelling will help and I can move on, fingers crossed. 
xx