Expecting the worst, trying to be prepared

Hi, I’m 50, had a routine mammogram 2 years ago with a call back & ultrasound scan where I was told I did not have breast cancer (no mention of calcifications). I was called back 3 weeks ago for another mammogram and called back this last Tuesday told that calcifications had been found again in the same area as before just more of them in a cluster so I had magnified mammograms & a gun biopsy. I’m now waiting for the results appointment & getting increasingly anxious. One moment I’m in control & thinking ‘ok, if I get bad news, I can handle this, I’m strong etc.’ & then I flip to ‘I’m going to be one of the unlucky ones that get the worst diagnosis, the most aggressive, metastatic malignancy etc.’ I can’t help dwelling on the consultant saying ‘I wish you the very best’ with a grim tone & expression to match. She drew a sketch of what she found suspicious & it seems like she was showing me the type of calcification that is most often malignant. Also, I have an uncomfy armpit lymph that was sore before the biopsy but I can’t remember if it was before the first mammogram. She had a look at it on the ultrasound but didn’t say anything. I have a sensation of fullness in my breast very similar to when milk comes in. Does that sound like anything sinister? I know I’m wasting my energy speculating & stressing out won’t change anything. I’m lucky that, although I am a single mum, I do have a very supportive partner (we don’t live together). I’d like to fast-forward to my appointment on Tuesday - can anyone tell me what is likely to happen next & treatment types/timescales if it is malignant? Thank you. 

  • Hey, thanks for asking 

    It's ER+ HER2+, it's a 45mm mass in my right breast only - nothing in the lymph nodes.

    I'm 45 - which is young?  so the surgeon has recommended 6 months of chemotherapy to reduce the size before a less invasive lumpectomy. There's hormone treatment and radiation to follow too all coming to about a years worth of treatment. 
     

    i was ok, shocked but not entirely I suppose, going for a CT scan tomorrow. I've told my parents so just my son to go but I'll wait till after half term.

    its not going to win, that's all I keep telling myself xxx

  • Hi Flou, I’m sorry it is what you were expecting but from what I’ve read, it is entirely treatable with the method you’ll have. I do think a positive attitude is key and no doubt you’ll have good family support. With regard to your son, it might help to know that mine has been very resilient over the last 18 months. His father died suddenly at 52, a teenage friend was killed and now the person who he relies on most and is outwardly very healthy & health conscious, might not be invulnerable to ill-health. It’s tough but he’s fantastic and I’ve found throughout that being as open as possible with information is crucial. Obviously it depends on the child’s age & how much they’re able to understand but I’d advocate letting your son know so that he doesn’t feel you’re trying to protect him. If he feels that, then he won’t trust what he’s being told. Obviously your call & your son is unique but I just wanted to say he might surprise you with his resilience like mine has. X

  • Thank you so much for your thoughts and you're quite right. My son is 13 and it's just me & him so we are very close. I'm definitely going to be open and honest with him.

    Enjoy your weekend xxx

  • You too Flou; I hope you can relax a bit - lots of mummy/son cuddles, they’re never too old! X