That's great ladies.

I saw the oncologist today. Asked about percentage chance of recurrence and also if I was officially in remission as I don't really know how that term applies. She said they don't really used remission for breast cancer and went on to say it's difficult to quantify the chance of recurrence but basically if I get through the next 2 years I can pretty much consider myself cured. I was really upset, held it together through the rads, got to my car and then called my boyfriend in Hong Kong and cried down the phone. He's always been incredibly positive and he was great. However, I have to say, this is the most down I've felt since starting treatment. I'm sure she didn't mean me to take it in such a negative way and I'll talk to her about it when I see her next week but really struggling not to cry still. I don't want my mum and dad to get upset.

Sorry for the self indulgent post.

Love to all xx

Hi Claire,

Sorry to hear you are sad :(  it really is a tough time for us so rant as much as you like.  I think we are all finding it hard now we are coming to the end of treatment and hang on every word the specialists tell us.  If only they realised the words they mention and the delivery really affects us! Cant believe they said "If you get through the next 2 years!"  WTF! It does seem as there is no sugar coating, as my husband always reminds me.  They are there to give you the facts and not always easy to hear. 

I remember in the beginning i read way too much on tnbc and freaked myself out. So i try not to read too much but like you i will also want to know what my status is, as Davia and Sue did ask. 

When does your rads finish?

Big hugs

xxx

Hi Ladies,

Claire, I felt the same as you when I spoke to my Oncologist. As Mich said, there is no sugar coating! I wanted to hear positive news to keep me going but it wasn't forthcoming. I asked if he new of anyone who didn't get a total response from chemo who went on to live long and healthy lives. He said there are plenty but that every case is different, he certainly didn't want to commit. I feel empty now I've finished radiotheraphy and worried at the lack of follow-up appointments. I think in time we will learn to accept that we are now clear of cancer and hopefully we will all stay that way.

Linda, I'm glad you have your dates for radio, the time will fly past.

Mich, let us know how you get on on Thursday. Hopefully the Oncologist will put your mind at rest and answer any questions. 

Davia, how are you getting on? 

Love to all and enjoy the sunshine,

Sue xxx

Hi Ladies, 

Claire, it's hard, I felt devistated to, like I had been through chemo for nothing, it's not an easy road that's for sure,  ut we have to go forward and take it one day at a time, aventually, I'm told, you go a few days without thinking of Cancer, I'm looking forward to those days  

It is strange when you have finished treatment, for a whole year nearly you've been on a treadmill of having your care team around and then all of a sudden it feels like it's stopped, you feel more vunrable in a way,

What I hate is waking up in the morning and the first thing that comes into my mind is my cancer  

My rads site is very red, I have areas of itching but, fingers crossed, no sore areas as yet, I keep lathering on the cream, oh I do have a crusty nipple sorry TMI, but nurse said this would happen, apart from that, yes I've felt tired some days and I am experiencing nerve pain in my arm at night so sleeping has been disturbed, but apart from that, I'm doing OK

Mich hope you get your dates for rads soon and excersises are going well, 

 Claire hang in there, I know how you feel xxx

Sue thank you for your posative post it really helped xxx

Linda, good luck with rads, not long now xx

Keep well ladies  

Thanks so much ladies. I've managed to stay so positive all along and just feel like I've been hit by a truck all over again. Although a bit better today.

just had rad session number 13, the oncologist said the area is slightly dry and red but I can't honestly see that.

Those of you off work at the mo, when are you thinking of going back?

Davia, sorry about your crusty nipple, it is the gift that keeps on giving... :) 

Love to all xx

Hi Ladies, hope you're all ok

Today i celebrated my birthday in lockdown mode and enjoyed it, my daughter had cream tea for the 4 of us delivered which was lovely.

Claire i'm furloughed from work until the end of June, I have rads from 26th May for 10 days so depending on how i feel at the end of june depends on when i go back, I'm lucky that I get full sick pay for another 12 weeks so it gives me the option to make sure I feel 100% before I return. 

I dont know about you ladies but i had my last chemo on 6th March and these last 3 weeks i've felt more achy than when on chemo apparently this is normal ..whatever normal is lol

Linda x

Hey ladies

Happy birthday Linda Ah, how lovely of your daughter! I do love a cream tea.i did some more baking today as had v ripe bananas! 

I had a call from oncologist this morn, well one of her associates. I'll be having the 3 week rads on chest and neck and hope to start soon. I won't be able to have the condensed one as I have lymph node involvement so must be the 3 weeks. She'll give me a call back about the mapping, they hope for next week. She went through all the so called fine print about scaring on lungs, burning, potential dry cough, breathing exercises and small risk of cancer ha ha! Well 1 to 2% so obviously the benefits outway the risk. 

I asked about recurrence and she said there is always the risk and that's why they do rads as extra precaution even though cancer is gone. 

She didn't say too much else about it and I k ow about the 25% risk so didn't ask any more. 

My department on furlough too although I'm still on 50% sick pay. I hope to get back after radiotherapy although I know I'll have a staggered return and at this rate mostly working from home. That's good Linda you have a fair amount of sick leave left. I remember in the early days u were working to make sure u had left. I finished on 6 March too. I have a hey joints, knee and hips. Bending down to get something out of a cupboard, I really feel like an Ole woman trying to get up. I have dodgy creaky knees at the best of times. Can't wait until I can get out eveay day walkimg as it will help. 

How's everyone feeling today? 

Hugs xx

Yeah I get 12 weeks full then 12 weeks half, once back at work for 8 weeks it resets. So me being furloughed for 12 weeks classes as me being back at work so my sick is reset to full pay. I took 11 weeks 4 days was due to go onto half pay when all this covid happened. As mad as it sounds it has done me a favour as I have been able to stay home and properly recover lol. 

That's a shame you have to have the full 3 weeks but tbh I'd of had the 3 if I had to, as we know it's so aggressive I'd even throw the kitchen sink at it xx

Happy birthday Linda! I love a cream tea.

Same as me then Mich but I have a booster week on the end so 4 weeks total. It's actually been fine and gone very fast.

I've been off sick since I was diagnosed last August and I really don't want to go back yet. Trying to find the line between not going back too early and not taking the p***. Pay isn't an issue as I'm still getting paid 2/3 salary but tax free.

I'm also very achy, could be partly because I'm eating too much and not doing any exercise!

xx