Sorry to hear, hope you may have now been able to have a succesful attempt?

I am so glad I found this thread.  I am assexual and only have sex one with a man more than a decade ago.  I think I may have vaginisim but not diagnoised.  I have anxiety anyway and the thought of even having a smear feels me with dread.

I had my first attempt last year at the age of 33 after many years of dogding and drs bringing it up at appointment and various letters.  I eventually agreed and had heard it was a bit uncomfortable, but it didn't really enter my heard they would be unable to complete the test. 

The nurse seemed nice, pretty much started by saying it would be no different from an erect penis, so I am thinking *** and that is very hetronormative.  A few minutes in and she asked me about my sex life on the table, I am in pain and mortified, she tried a smaller piece of equipment, so no joy.  After another few minutes she said do you want to stop, I said yes.  She said she could refer me to a specailist at the hospital and maybe I would be more relaxed knowing what it entails, like what do I seem relaxed, I am going to be more stressed than I am now after this humilating experience.   She proceeds to tell me she has never been unable to do a test in all her 30 years or something, which is the opposite of what I wanted to hear as it makes me feel like the only one and a terrible, useless woman and then she told me my chances of getting cervical cancer are extremely small due to not having sex with men, again seems like she shouldn't have really advised that anyway, she told me think about being referred which I knew I wasn't going to do the moment she mentioned it.  Since then I have had some issues with bleeding in between periods and some intense period pain spasms that I need to get checked out and I am terrified of having to do another smear or internal examination.   In hindsight I am a bit annoyed with how the nurse handled it really, I feel they should have better training around issues with taking smears and who actually thinks telling someone that they have never had this issue before, is helpful or making them feel better?

I'm not sure if anyone is reading this thread, but I too am a bit fed up as I've just come back from my 5 yearly appointment (I'm 57) and the GPs Nurse couldn't find my cervix. She tried 5 times, it took over half an hour of me being in odd positions. I did have pre-cancerous cells about 15 years ago which was dealt with and fixed, so that plays on my mind. I'm now menopausal but on HRT. Over the years I've had precious problems with nurses not being able to locate my cervix, but somehow they find another nurse who can locate it. I am now being referred to hospital as the GP at my surgery also cannot locate my cervix. 
Both used an extra long speculum as it's so tilted and I'm tall. I'm being referred to hospital, but it may take up to a year to get an appointment. Is this right? Has anyone else had this problem? They aren't able to put it through as urgent, but it all plays on my mind as I'm aware how important it is to have a smear and I haven't had one for five years, when I was 52.
 

Hi [@pinknails65]‍, I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I'm the original poster of this thread and know how tedious it is when your smear test isn't successful. I recently had mine done for the first time since I gave birth (a long awaited IVF pregnancy with lots of prodding and poking, 4 miscarriages and a traumatic birth of long labour, forceps and an emergency c-section!). I thought that, at least, my cervical screaning would likely be easier....nope! Still a difficult one BUT I requested the nurse I had years ago who was patient and kind and she did manage to get it done. Unfortunately it took a few attempts and I was in pain but she was brilliant and that made all the difference.

I am amazed that you are being referred and have been told it might take a year! You have had abnormal cells found before yet they think it is acceptable for you to wait?! I would really push back on this. If they are unable to get a sample, it is THEIR problem and THEIR incompetence, not yours. Can you write to your local clinical commissioning group about this, or at least write to your GP surgery? They should let you have a few more tries with their nurses/Dr's. Ask for their most experienced nurse perhaps?

I really hope you get the smear test done soon and are treated with more compassion. I get so disheartened when I read that so many women are still experiencing this poor level of care. 
Sending you all the very best - keep pushing them! x 

Hi [@faded07]‍ 

Thanks so much for coming back...I really didn't expect anyone to still be reading this but was so surprised and saddened that so many women have been suffering over the years with this, including yourself :( sounds like you had an awful birth and my heart goes out to you but in years to come, it will be more of a distant memory, I promise. I too had similar, but it was nearly 30 years ago, I think I still have the scar from the stitches ( so they tell me ) well done with your perseverance in getting that Nurse back. 

Unfortunately the nurse I had at this Surgery was their most experienced when I called up  initially, I was told she was their very best. There is nobody else. Years ago, I had a Nurse at another Surgery who would be in and out in 2 minutes, but she sadly retired. How I wish they were all like her. She was very 'old school' but that's what's needed. I got the impression yesterday the Nurse was very frustrated that she couldn't find it but I couldn't help thinking that she would have to account for her failure in some way and that was what what was bothering her most, which was why she kept trying. She was already way behind with her timings and I'd been with her for nearly 40 minutes in the end. It was starting to hurt in the end and she knew she wasn't getting anywhere.

I will see when or if I get the appointment through and see what they give me and then if it is far too long, I'll do what you suggest and make a complaint to the clinical commissioning area and also write to the Surgery. 

Thankyou again for coming back, I really appreciate it and wish you all the very best. I'll write back on here with my progress ( if I make any).

Take care,

x