I've posted in the "newly diagnosed" forum but guess here would be a good place too. I'm here because, as I've said in my bio and other stuff, I've run the Race for Life a few times, mainly for friends of friends, family friends, my dad's chronic lymphocytic leukemia... and in general as the wife of a GP who works really and truly tirelessly for his patients who need it the most, who are, mostly, cancer patients, I felt I wanted to do something positive.  But,while my dad has a chronic leukemia, his advanced Parkinson's is more concerning. CLL is a weird cancer that rarely becomes threatening. I've learned this from other CLL patients and medical folks in my life. 

SO cancer has a sense of humor and the phrase, physician heal thyself, takes on new meaning. My husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer on Friday. Given he's a very busy GP in a country (meaning the whole of the UK)  where there are not enough doctors to meet patient needs, it would seem the hand holder has become the patient. And...he doesn't know how to deal. 

I DON'T KNOW  HOW TO DEAL... he's a very um...non-talktative or should I say, difficult to get to know man, I know him, but  hopefully you get the jist of what I mean...he doesn't share fears, he has trouble accessing emotions, and worst of all, and did I mention he's a GP in an under staffed NHS? He's brilliant with his palliative patients, they even send ME gifts thanking me for his extra time put in to help them. 

But...who's going to put in the extra time for a man who's already overworked? his GP said "you should write yourself off out of work now"... what? 

So my name is Cari, I'm married to a GP, I'm afraid for my husband who, after 11 years together and 8 years of marriage cried for the first time because he had to break to the news to me over the phone because he wanted ME to be the first to know but had to tell his 1 1/2 partners at work (one full time, one part time) before he left for the weekend.  Once he got home, we began the process of informing family members. My dad/stepmother knew it was possible, we were keeping his parents in the dark as long as we could (3 whole days) because my father in law is a well known though retired surgeon in the area and he'd try to use his status to push things ahead. So, hubby's immediate family knows, soon his work world will know and he'll have to give up control and be the patient he's helped so many times before. 

Yes, kidney cancer has decent treatment success, but as with all things related to my husband, it's not so simple...

As his only real confidant and as his wife, I really do need a bit of hand holding myself. I'm not weak as a person, but I have my own chronic illnesses, my father's illness, and now my husband's. Where can a giflr get more emotional bandwith, can I order this on Amazon?

Nice to meet you...so sorry it isn't somehwere more fun, like a gin tea party. :love:

Cari