My Mum

Hi, I lost my beautiful Mum on 11th December 18 aged 73, she passed away in the hospice with me by her side holding her hand. We were like peas in a pod, she was my Mum, my Dad, the sister I never had and my very best friend. My Dad died at the age of 46, I was 22. I remember his death vividly but this time it's so very different for me. I feel like I'm in a parallel universe. I can't seem to cry only briefly. I did do lots of crying before she passed but I assumed that because we were so close I would be hysterical. Unless I'm still in shock, it's the strangest feeling in the world.

  • Hi Twinkle ..so sorry for your loss i feel your pain.I like you did not cry veryy much when my mam died...its all down to grief and unfortunately there is nothing that will take the pain away.

    What you do have is your memories .You say you were very close and that is what you will remember.

    All the good times you have had ...you will count your blessings you had such a wonderful mum.

    Don't be too hard on yourself it takes time.

    Thinking of you xx

  • Hi Twinkle xx 

    So sorry about the loss of your Mum and Dad xx it must have been such a comfort to your Mum to have you with her in the hospice xx 

    I have been where you are (my Mum died of lung cancer) and I remember being concerned about the same thing.......shouldn’t I be crying more? Why aren’t I crying? 

    I recall someone telling me that it would “all come out” at the funeral and being terrified by this thought. The truth was...it didn’t. 

    I haven’t really had a huge crying session since my Mum left us (just the odd cry here and there...some random moments).....I believe my brother and sister to be the same xx 

    So....pease don’t worry about that. Just go with however you’re feeling - some people cry lots, others don’t....whatever you’re feeling right now is normal and nothing to worry about xx 

  • Thankyou for the kind words of support, it's still very early days yet I know. I have lots of wonderful memories and although she isn't here in body, I do feel she Is with me. I try to reassure myself that she is no longer in any pain which is true and I know she couldn't cope with it anymore but it still hurts like hell . 

    Twinkle

  • Hi there, thanks for the support, I'm still in the denial stage I'm sure. It was my first day back at work for 2 months and it was the oddest feeling in the world. I felt like a spectator at a show.....just watching everyone else. Still I do have a very supportive boss so that's brilliant. I think I'll just take it day by day - Twinkle