Hello, I am in exactly the same place as you are. I have had a lumpectomy and node removed, I now have appointment for next wed to find out my treatment plan.....the wait is driving me nuts. My mind goes off to dark places.....the thought of chemo scares me silly....but I found this forum, and it has been my god send. There are so many lovely people on here, giving me reassuring words along the way, and I even find myself reassuring other people! It's a long uncertain road ahead for us, but we are here for each other....getting strength from each other......keep in touch xxx

Hi there ...and welcome ...

Your perfectly normal ... although we want to be super woman ... wer not , just human ...

Those emotions being all over the place, is why lots of us call it a rollercoaster ride ... the scariest one you'll ever get on .. we get strapped in, and go up and down, round and round ... and we have to hold on really tight ... but when you get really scared just look around... there we all are, on that ride with you ...and it's not not all bad .. there's o.k times too .. if you look for them ..

Cancer wants us to fall down, lay face down and give up ... well Marlyn is right, there's lots of us breast lasses here .. all with boxing gloves on and we all stand together, to knock it out the ring ... yes wer all scared, esp in the beginning. . Yes we cry .. and shout at this crule cancer .. but we still look it in the eye and it better watch out, wer comming to knock it out ... scared or not ... 

Big vertual hug .... Chrissie x

Thanks Marlyn

Good to know we aren’t alone in this journey, none of us wanted to take. 

Let me know how you get on with your appointment on Wednesday, fingers crossed for you.xx

Of course I will....as long as you post your journey too...xxxx

Blimey I love you! Xx

I’ll do my best!! Xxx

Marlyn ....Well thank you ... just learned lots of things, through life's journey... but on here .. it's like a family, that we may never meet ... but oh my.. some of the best buddies well ever find ...x

Lulu ...

I found the op, the easy bit .. but sadly it's usually the start of treatments to .. ups and downs of the rollercoaster... just keep holding on .. we've all had really bad ones ... but feelings are better out then held in ... 

Some people like your hubby, is more then likely holding his feelings in, trying to keep you strong too .. when the way forward, is admitting how scary it is .. and sharing tears together ... we hold too many feelings in .. when letting them out and saying , it's o.k to feel them .. really does help everyone in the long run ..  but keep the boxing gloves handy ... Chrissie xx

Thanks Chrissie

You are so right. Feelings and emotions much better out than in. Unfortunately hubby not best communicator on the planet. I’m the talker, he’s the thinker! I shall work on him. My 15 year old on the other hand has been an absolute rock despite GCSEs and nasty friendship issues!  I hope whatever lies ahead I start to cope a little better once I have a plan. 

Thankyou so much for your kind words. I shall go get some boxing gloves!

Lulu Xxx

Hi Lulu,

Yes it's absolutely normal to feel angry. These past few days I have felt utterly ****** off. 

I'm 31 and was diagnosed with breast cancer on the 6th December. I had a single mastectomy and full lymph node clearance on the 19th and will be starting chemo in the next couple of weeks.  

I feel I've been fine (as fine as can be) with surgery. Due to the full lymph node clearance my arm is sore, I can't straighten it fully and is numb but hey ho I'm here.

I think that's the way I'm looking at every step of this process. That no matter how bad it gets, how crap I will undoubtedly feel in the coming months it's so much better than not being here at all. The fear of not being here for my children far outweighs any fear I have regarding treatment. 

If you need chemotherapy just look at it in the way of what it's there to do, basically increase your chances of survival, and ultimately that's what you want...? 

Maybe writing things down will help? I think I'm going to start a bit of a diary the old fashioned way because I know it will help me saying everything and anything freely. 

No matter what - You have got this!!!! ️ Lots of love ️