Thank you for your kind message.  I’ve only lived here for a few months and have been out and about as much as possible but with building work on my house taking up a lot of time my thoughts were that I’d find something such as volunteering in January when the work will all be finished.  I had visions of exploring my neighbourhood and the lovely surroundings and meeting people along the way.  But in January I’m going to be having a major op and no doubt other associated things such as chemotherapy/radiation.  So there’s no time to build relationships before it all starts.  The timing is the pits.  Friendships should be built on mutual interests and beliefs.  To meet people in my current circumstance and then drop the bombshell one day that “oh by the way I’ve got cancer and I need help” seems very manipulative.  I’m asked if neighbours would help.  I’ve only recently moved in and as they’re all out at work all day and some with young families, I cannot impose on them and it’s not their problem.  The trouble is that when you have no immediate family then you’ve no-one you can feel entitled to ask for help.  Going to the public sector or charities is an option but let’s face it, they’re overwhelmed.  Also when you have no children or grandchildren it’s difficult to make friends as you have nothing in common with many people.  When people ask what I used to do for a living and tell them, the regular response was “oh” and the conversation ended.  I wasn’t a brain surgeon or anything like that, but I was in a field where women of my age range didn’t tend to work.  So no matter how nice and friendly you are, you’re often of no interest to other people who have their own problems.  So I feel alone and not entitled to ask for help.  No doubt my kind neighbours will notice in months to come that I’ve lost weight/am not looking well etc and will ask if I’m ok.  But if/when they do, I cannot expect more than the odd bit of shopping, visit or some other activity they are kind enough to fit into their busy lives.  This is my reality.  One in five people over the age of 50 now don’t have children.  It’s going to get worse for the likes of us.  It has been established by a national group who put out this information that for 90% of those people, it wasn’t through choice.  I am one of those 90%.  

This is is turning into a bit of a ramble.  Wonder if anyone out there recognises their situation in my words.