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Father has terminal diagnosis I feel like I'm drowning

Christabelle4444
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My father has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer, After 3 years of being ignored and told he has IBS and being made to feel like a nuisance he has been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer.

He had a stroke 10 years ago, survived  a heart attack and  prostate cancer but apparently the prostate cancer was not treated properly and he now has rectal cancer. It is too advanced for any kind of treatment so it is a question of watching him get progressively weaker until the end.

I have  a 7 year old daughter who I am going to have to tell after Christmas that her her be beloved grandfather is dying, 

I feel numb, and angry and more anger and so helplesss, I feel so alone. I feel so angry. I am trying to support my mother but it is so hard.

Sometimes I just want to run away  - immature I know.

Sorry for the self-pity its just hard being the strong daughter all the time.

Thanks for reading this

C x

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    Hi C xx 

    So sorry to read about your Dad’s diagnosis. Wow - it sounds as though he’s been through a fair few challenges there xx 

    I was touched by cancer when my Mum got a terminal diagnosis and so...all of those feelings you’re experiencing - I can remember going through the same. 

    This is a really great place to be if you need any support. Sadly, so many others are going through the same as you and so I hope you can stick around xx it’s not sustainable for anyone to be a strong person all the time...you don’t have to be here. What I’ve found about this forum is that it is a completely safe and non judgemental space for people to be themselves and talk openly about their feelings. 

    Take care SC1 xx 

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    Hi C x

    I am sorry to hear of your fathers diagnosis, and I am sorry for what you yourself are going thru.

    There is no shame in wanting to run away from these events, I have felt similar myself but as you know these pressures and emotions you are feeling are the price we pay for living and loving others.

    my mother had bowel cancer, my dad just passed away from kidney cancer; promise in time you will be proactive and insist on getting checked for polyps. 

    Tristan

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    Hi there ...

    Well I'm a nanny with cancer, and I have my wonderful granddaughter Emily who's 7 too ... when I was going into hospital for my masectomy ... I talked to her, and as I've always told her that bright star in the sky is my mum ... when she asked me if I was going to die, I told her the Drs were going to try to make nanny better, but if they couldn't, I be right there next to my mum's star, looking down on her every night ..

    She was quite happy with that, and l think it just paves the way, so they don't get a shock, when it happens ... and you know you won't loose your dad, he'll be right there in your heart ... and like I tell Emily stories of my mum, so you can always bring your memories of your dad along this path we tread ... 

    I lost my mum 29 years ago suddenly ... and my two young sons adored her .. well even now they put pictures of her on their face book .. and talk about her to their kids ... my youngest was only 7 too ... but he still remembers her .. 

    And wanting to run away, is your heart wanting things to be normal again ... those feelings are o.k .. go with them .. get it all out.. then make the most of every day you have with him .. make every day a memory day .. it's good to share tears, hugs, and both say your scared ... and leave nothing unsaid, even if it's difficult to hear or say .. then one day you'll look back, and know you made every day count ..

    Chrissie  xx

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