So lost - dad has terminal bladder cancer

Hi, my name is Tammy and this is my story so far. In March 2018, my wonderful Dad was diagnosed with non invasive bladder cancer. He went through the BCG treatment and we thought he was cancer free. In October after another scan, the cancer had come back with avengence and had now sneaked through the bladder wall so he went for the option of bladder removal. During pre ops they discovered that his kidney function was down to 18% so he had to have kidney drains put in (both kideneys0 but we were hopeful that when they took the bladder away, they would pop the kidney piped inside hime in the form of a stoma. During surgery after the surgon had un lodged one side of the bladder, he noticted that theer was evidence that it had gone through the pelvic wall so aborted the operation. They have now told my Dad he has terminal cancer and they wont remove the bladder as its to risky.  He now still has the 2 kidney dairns coming out of his back, he has fone from 15 stone to 12 stone in 3 weeks, he is in a mess and no one will help him and Im so lost. I dont know what to do next, my heart is breaking. I want then to fix my dad but they wont. Im sorry if Im waffleing im just so sad as I cant live without my dad.

  • Hi there tammy

    Sorry to hear your dad 's prognosis.

    I have bladder cancer,but after 3 delayed ops to remove tumor on receiving 4th time op to remove tumor I declined treatment.

    I had found out this type of tumor keeps returning.

    I have had the scope & ct scan to confirm cancer,they kept me in hospital as I had a bad kidney infection & antibiotics weren't working.

    Keep talking & give your dad lots of hugs let him live for the day,maybe chat about older times you spent together.

    My best wishs to you both x

  • Thank you for your kind reply.

  • Hi Tammy

    im kind of in the same boat my dad is in the final stages of bone/prostate cancer and there is no treatment apart from pain control now.

    im finding it difficult to watch his rapid decline and feel so helpless seeing him go from healthy to practically immobile.

     

    im thinking the only thing I can do is be there hold him and tell him I love him. It doesn’t seem much but I’m sure your dad will be so happy to have his caring daughter with him through this terrible time too.  Sorry I can’t give you much comfort but you will find the strength from somewhere and be a great comfort to your dad I’m sure

    x Jude