Cancer Research UK main site

I’m struggling

Ali86
Offline

Hi all,

My mum passed away last year. After a very short fight with cancer. She had been misdiagnosed and doctors kept our hopes up until the day we were told she only had days left. I’m struggling to come to terms with my mums death. I feel like she was take too soon! She didn’t see me or my siblings get married, have families etc.. 

At 26 I feel like Iv been robbed of my Mum. I’m angry and hurt. I work in oncology & I adore my job but at times I do struggle and feel like I have to put on a show. 

I feel like nobody cares or understand what it feels like to lose someone as important as a Mum. It kills me seeing other mothers and daughters, or when people talk about there mums when all I want is to be able to talk to mine & tell her ‘i love her’

Any advice to help me through this ‘rough’ patch.

Love,

A

  • Offline

    Hello Ali86.  I am sorry tthat you are still suffering so much. There are many people on here who have lost their mums to cancer.  It is some years ago since my own mum died but I know how nothing prepares you for it - even though we know it is likely that our parents will die before us it is not something with which we can cope.  I hope you will find some recent posts from people who are suffering like yourself having lost their mums (and dads) to cancer.  Also that some will see your post and contact you.  I found that talking aloud to my mum (after she died) and looking at photos and other items was helpful in the short term; but you must go with anything that helps you; there are no rights and wrongs in this situation.  Annie

  • Offline

    Hello Lovely,

    i am new to this page and was looking for help myself as my dad is now very poorly. 

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum. No time is the right time to lose someone so close and no one can put a timeframe on grief. 

    It might sound cliched but have you spoken to anyone to talk it through properly, there is bereavement counselling that might help? 

    I think life these days is all consuming and people are busy and may not see you’re struggling- have you told any friends you’re struggling? They may think you’re coping? 

    I hope you find some comfort soon xxx

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Thank you Annieliz, that that is very helpful. I will take your advice hopefully it will help!

    A xx

  • Offline in reply to Carrie_Ev

    Thank you Carrie_Ev for your advice. 

    Im sorry to hear about your Dad. 

    I am doing conselling at the minute but find it not very helpful regarding grieving etc. 

    Thank you!! 

    A xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.