Hi Janus,

I see that this is your first post on the forum, so I extend a very warm welcome to Cancer Chat. Like the rest of us, I’m sure that you would rather be anywhere else but here.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s recent diagnosis – what a shock it must have been to get this diagnosis virtually out of the blue. Nursing in palliative care, you will know only too well how this progresses. I felt the same when I was first given the devastating news. I have cared for both of my parents, several family members and close friends and was diagnosed with breast cancer 8 years ago. I was diagnosed with a second bout the following year and am now waiting to see the dermatologist with a mole on my back towards the end of this month.

My hubby had to stop working at 50, which came as a terrible shock at the time. He had a quadruple by-pass, followed by pneumonia, diabetes, a stroke and now chronic heart failure. He has been in hospital twice in the last couple of weeks, as we try to get his medication on an even keel. I cannot say that it has been easy, because it hasn’t, but we’re coping and have been now for 22 years.

I am self-employed and had always intended retiring at 50 myself, but we just had to reverse roles. I am involved in one of the professions allied to medicine and am still working, although I have had to reduce my workload when I was diagnosed.

I feel for you both. You have mentioned much of the advice that we give to the newly diagnosed and I hope that you can manage to follow this advice yourselves.  It’s one thing giving it to patient’s but altogether another matter when it comes to putting it into action yourself.  I am glad that you can both communicate your feelings openly to one another – this makes such a difference to how you both cope with all that is happening.  Do you have any family or friends who can support you through this?

Don’t just worry about getting your things in order, but try to make some memories whilst Owen is well-enough to do so. Is his care team considering giving him chemo to try and slow the metastases or is he just to keep on taking the tablets?

Do you have any further appointments with his consultant, or where have you been left with follow-up?

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for both of you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx