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beanbag
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Hi

My hubby has been diagnosed with stage4 terminal oes can with mets

we are dealing with the ups and downs ok but family are in denial. we know his chances of survival are slim and we have accepted this ( we have not given in to it yet) but no one else will understand this how and when should we tell them what his prognossis is

thanks

dianne

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    Hi Dianne Sorry to hear of your husband prognosis. As to when you tell people there is never a right time. the best thing to do is just come out with it explaining that you are letting them know and will keep them updated. I was diagnosed as stage four (almost three years ago) with a 17% survival rate and the only person I did not tell was my Mum as I knew she would not be able to handle it (she suffers with depression). I'm still here and still in remission. I did rely on friends when I was having treatment for moral support and understanding why I could not go to or do certain things. So this could be a route for telling family that you are going to need their help and moral support while your husband is fighting his cancer. God luck
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    Soon. It's hard to say how without knowing the people involved and what they will be able to cope with.

    Gently, but firmly is usually best. When my Mum was told she was terminal, some family members took longer than others to accept the reality. We all got there in the end, though it took a fe weeks :-)

    When I was diagnosed at stage 4 with a 5% survival rate, I told just about everyone who needed to know, including colleagues, and asked them to pass the news on. I then posted about it on Facebook. My theory was that that people would talk about me and my condition whether I gave them the details or not and at least this way there was less chance of any misunderstandings or false rumours. 

    Good luck

    Dave

  • Offline in reply to davek

     

    Hi Dianne,

    I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. Who to tell and when is always a difficult one to call.

    I have been through a few cancer diagnoses with various family members and now with myself. As Dave says, it is better to be open from the start. Family and friends can then discuss the correct details between themselves. There is no awkwardness when you meet any of them and I have found that I have had less need to repeat how I am progressing at every turn, because they already know and have discussed it amongst themselves.

    You will find that this way nobody feels left out and even if the family is currently in denial, it will unfortunately, gradually become apparent.

    I do hope that you get the support you need from all around you. This will not be an easy time for you and you will appreciate the assistance of family and friends as you travel along your husband’s cancer journey.

     Thinking of and praying for you both. Remember that there is always someone here to talk to you when you feel the need.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine  xx

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