Hi Andy,

You’ve been through the mill and it takes the body a long time to get over all this treatment.

I had breast cancer 6½ years ago. I had a lumpectomy then and the following year, almost a year to the day of my first diagnosis, I had a second primary in the same breast. This time I had a double mastectomy. I now have lymphoedema in both arms and hands. I didn’t have chemo or radiation, but I did have hormone therapy. This has caused my arthritis to worsen considerably. I have just finished my hormone therapy and, instead of being delighted that it’s all over, I feel as if my safety blanket has been pulled from under me.

My big dread is to be diagnosed with secondary cancer. Since my cancer ops I’ve also had both knees replaced, three eye operations and been diagnosed as Diabetic. I have had to give up work because of my eyes and hands. I miss this dreadfully, but I’ve just got to get on with what I have now and make the most of it.

I guess what I’m saying is that, even after 6½ years, I still feel different and I guess that I always will. You are a lot younger than me. You have your whole life in front of you. Can you not accept who you are now and move on? I must confess that I found it difficult and I attended various courses and spoke to a lot of people before I reached where I am today. It took me several years before I reached this stage, so don’t expect to be able to bounce back after only a year. Have you tried counselling, mindfulness or any of the various alternative treatments that are available to cancer sufferers free of charge? Have a chat with your care team and see if they know of any support groups in your area.

I still meet up with some people who I met on various courses. We go out for a meal and a chat and we support one another along our journeys.

I notice that this is only your second post here. Feel free to come back any time you want support. You will probably find it helpful to speak to other people on this site who have been through what you have. Try doing a search for Laryngeal cancer. If you find some useful comments, why not reply to the people who you think may be able to help you?

I hope that you can eventually accept yourself for who you are now and not hanker after the past. It is gone now and you cannot change that, but you can still mould a new future for yourself – and I sincerely hope that you do.

Take care.

Jolamine.

I couldnt have said it better! the safety blanket has been pulled from under me. Thats def a real thing. Personally I will try everything first before jumping on medication. But almost 7 years? Not looking forward to that, my cancer journey is over for my friends and fam but not for me. Lets hang in there! :) Thank you very much girly, mad respect :)

Hi Andy

I still have side effects from the radiotherapy ( bowel problems if I dont watch what I eat) and it took over a year to recover from chemo (still get tingaling in my feet over 2years on) so don't worry.

As for not being the same well your not the same person this cancer changes you.  Its up to you if its going to be for the better me I try to be more tolerant, try not to put off the important things.

Jolamine is right its the safety blanket removal that makes us aprehensive and believe me every little twing, ache and pain will have you thinking.  I saw a cancer reasearch advert where a woman said every day you think of cancer and its true even when you have been put in remission its still on you mind sometime in that day.  Once you accept thats the case then you can live with it.

The Happy Guy you were is still there, he's probably not as carefree and that may be the difference you are noticing.