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Pet1976
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Hi 

My dad is 68 has had bowel cancer for 1 year which 9 months ago was also in liver.   Has had a Pve  but not viable therefore chemo only option.   He is so depressed I have no idea what to do .  I'm so frustrated as I cannot find the answers I'm looking for.   I want to know what are the first signs of end of life stage .   I want to know any experience any one has had.  I find this super hard as I have been a nurse for 20 years and I feel I should know!   However I have never worked with cancer as a speciality. Grrrrrrr     I just want to fix everything 

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    Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I have worked with the terminally Ill and in my experience 'the beginning of the end' is not always the same. It depends on so many things; the strength of the individual, the type of cancer and many other things. I have seen people who have given up and gone quickly and a woman who defied all odds and hung on until the army managed to get her son back from his tour in Afghanistan to say goodbye. I take some comfort despite my own cancer diagnosis that in the final stages people generally sleep most of the day/night and professionals have pain relief down to a fine art. I hope this helps you in some small way. My thoughts are with you

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    Hi Pet. I don't have the answers but if this helps. I was diagnosed with stomach cancer a month ago and because it has spread to the lymphs and the peritonitium they cannot operate. So I am on chemo had my first dose 2 weeks ago and not had any severe reaction. I am 70 years old never been much wrong with me so it was a big shock But I have a wife who is 80 who has been through cancer thankfully a curable one but we tried to laugh about things as much as we could and because of her I am trying to be strong. We have a grown up family and I work with my youngest daughter and again we carry on as if I am ok which to be fair I am still able to work full time. I am doing some weight training as I have lost 2 stone and muscle is heavier than fat so I keep going. If your Dad is able to even walk every day it will help as when I have done my weights I feel really good. I know it may sound easy but I know it's not but keep your Dads spirits up and try not to let him dwell on the worst aspects of the cancer. At the end of the day every extra years you are together is what is important to you. Take care and if you want I will keep you up to date with my progress if that might help you and your Dad. I have my next dose of chemo next week and am hoping I can carry on as I am and I will be positive about this so try to be as well for your Dads sake

  • Offline in reply to Thebarbell

    Hi Pet1976.  Just an update if it helps with your Dad. I had my second chemo 2 weeks ago. I had a weeks deferred as my blood count was too low so one week off the drugs. I am now as I say into the second week of the chemo and am still feeling pretty good in fact I am eating a lot better so am hoping the chemo is getting at the cancer . My only issue is that even though I am eating 3000 calories a day with a high calorie protein shake my weight seems to vary from 61.6 kgs up to 63.8. ( 9 stone 7 to 10 stone 1). I am doing some weight lifting to try and increase muscle as this is heavier than fat. I am working full time and generally feel pretty good .  I hope your a Dad and you are coping so take care Eddie

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