so sorry, be positive about yourself and keep giving of yourself to you precious family - then you will feel better about life....

Clare, not sure what to really say except live this remaining time you have left to the fullest you can. My thoughts with you and your precious husband and little girls.

Hi so sorry .... Make the most of creating memories for your family enjoy every day you have xxxxx

Hi Clare,

I was told my disease (stage 4 breast cancer) had a median (the time at which half the people are dead typically at the stage I was at) of 6 months, I fully expected to die quickly. I am here 5 years on and have just had the primary removed and we're keeping our fingers crossed that the others don't return. My breast cancer mets were in my liver and throughout both lungs.

I can't give advice to anyone, cancer is so different from person to person and we have a different cancer to each other, but I can say that I got my inspiration from a friend with liver cancer who was told she had only months to live. She is still here 23 years later and, although she'll never be "cured", they can't find her cancer now.

Every person is different. The only thing they can tell us is statistics. And there's always a few anomalies (like us???)

Since reading "The Median isn't the Message" by Steven J Gould (short article online), I have demanded all treatments possible, seeking second opinions when I wasn't sure, and kept myself as healthy as I can in order to access new treatments as they come along.

Had I given up hope I am sure I would not be sitting here today. It helped me to take one day at a time. My friend with a rare wasting disease said to me "you know Mare, I wake each morning to find it hasn't got me yet, and then I think to myself "It's not going to get me today" and then I just get on with living"...I took her advice. (Still had my fair share of days howling though!) but so far so good and I LOVE her attitude!

Best wishes to you,

M

Hello, at 44 I was told that my breast cancer was "terminal", and they were giving me "palliative" care

Terminal? Aren't we ALL terminal at the end of the day? And doesn't "palliative" care mean to treat the symptoms?....but they have been treating my cancer as well as my symptoms and I am still alive and fit and well and cycling 10 miles with no problem at all... when they discovered the cancer I had taken myself into A & E because I couldn't breathe! Now, with treatment, lifestyle changes and a holistic approach, all my tumours appear to have shrunk away (we're assuming there's cells left though and we're crossing our fingers that they don't come back again anytime soon- "fingers crossed" being a new discovery of mine!!! lol) .

My breast cancer was widespread through both lungs and liver, all my lymph nopdes and with a tumour on the artery near my heart; I wasn't expected to last long at all. But I really believe that sensible diet, exercise and healthy living can help even patients like me to live much much MUCH longer. My philosophy is to keep as healthy as I can in order to access new treatments as they come along. And so far...so good.... :D

Although it is excruciating waiting for results, and there is nothing and nobody that can ease your fears, I am sure once your mother begins treatment things will look up again for you all. I shall cross my fingers for you that your mum's assumption is wrong and that her cancer won't be "terminal", but please remember that there is so MUCH treatment available nowadays that there wasn't before.

Best wishes x

You can find me at:

imnotdeadyet.today

Hello Mare I to have been told stage 4 lung cancer in both lungs what treatments have you had since stage 4