Hello J, so sorry about your mum and how awful you are still feeling.  I know what it's like as I lost my beloved mum in 1968 from bowel cancer when I was 24. 

There is a strand on the forum called 'coping with loss' that I think might prove helpful for you, where you will find others in a similar position who you can chat to and get advice from.  You will see the list of strands either at the side of the page on laptop or as a dropdown menu at top of page on tablet.  

Hope this is helpful, God bless and take care.

Hazel x

Darling, it will never go, your mum will always be with you, but it will get easier, I promise you.  I hope you manage to find the other thread, otherwise you could try contacting the moderators who will point you in the right direction. 

Stay strong, Hazel x

Hi J,

Just stumbled across this forum as it popped up on my Facebook feed. Just wanted to say I feel your pain. I lost my dad in April 2015, 5 weeks before my wedding. It's coming up to a year since it happened and i can't believe it as it still feels like it was just last week. Someone once told me it's not that it gets easier it just gets "different" as each day passes and the pain is less raw. I hope and pray you find some support here just know that what you're feeling is normal, whatever normal is.

Thanks Hazel as well for your words. Will check out the other strand about coping with loss.

Lots of love

Jolene

X

Hi Jolene, Ty for your kind words and I'm sorry you lost your dad, I'm finding it hard to accept she's never coming back, and like you I feel like it wasn't long ago even though it was 8 months, I keep on going over things in my mind over and over, I don't think you ever fully heal, I just feel empty and lost most of the time, taking each day as it comes, I hope you are ok, well as best as you can be anyway, it's hard to find people who really understand the pain I am going through so pleased I found this forum today 

take care x

Thanks again Hazel, I know it will never go but I'm hopeful in time the raw pain will go a little.

Take care x

Hi, this is the first time I have been able to add anything to any forum.  My mum died of recal cancer on the 12th January this year.  I completely understand how you feel, empty, lost, deflated, life seems to be going through the motions only.    I have three sons to focus on and I can her my mum telling me to get a grip, and that you dont want them seeing you so upset.   If I need a good cry I hide up and do it.   It is going to feel raw for a long time, but I think I feel better when I focus on the good memories and not the last eigheen months when she went from a very young 69 year old with a fantastic outlook on life to a lady who could not walk, could not go out of the house and spent the last 8 weeks of her life in hospital.   She came home only for a week, where she wanted to be at the end.  Focus on the good times, focus on the laughs, focus on what you loved about her, focus on your life and how she would not want you to be sad but to live life to the full on her behalf.   xx

Hi Sa, sorry about your mum, it hasn't been long at all for you, I get you totally when you say you are going through the motions, eight months since my mam left us and I just go through the motions, I have a 21 year old son, she was like a second mother to him, the pain is too much for me at times,  like I will want to talk to her and I can't anymore, we used to love our shopping trips etc and I cry just walking round certain shops, still expect to see her beside me, she wouldn't want me to be like this I know that but it still hurts so much, she was 67, far too young, I will miss her every day for the rest of my life, I'm so sorry you are going through this sadness, our mums would want us too stay strong for ourselves and for our children, I hope you continue to stay strong, your mum is always with you.

take care xx

Hi Sa

Sorry for the loss of your mum.

It's great to see you have already received a warm welcome from J.

I hope you find Cancer Chat a friendly and supportive place to come and share your feelings.

Best wishes

Jane