Hello Ahep60,

I noticed you had received some nice responses in your other thread but thought I would also bump this one in case anyone has anything to suggest to you about how to talk to your husband at the moment as he is feeling so negative. It does sound like a difficult situation for you to have to deal with!

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

i have gone through bowel cancer treatment , operation chemotherapy, and now the wait as to what goes on next every twinge the  aftermath of chemo ,i have taken to drinking a bottle of wine every evening as i want to block out what might be next. i am probably doing the wrong thing but it is the only way i know how to cope, i cant sleep without it, sometimes i sit and think is it all worth while, i have a lot to live for so i am positive most of the time, i have this awfull thought in my mind constantly 5 - 10 years max for cancer patients i have gone 3 now and i know i am pushing my luck with the drink every night  but how else can i cope, every day when i go out i do my makeup and hair but sometimes i spend the day in my nightware.its only because its winter i get away with it. i live in fear as to when it will return how long have i got i dont want to be a burden to anyone or let my loved ones wait for me to die, i am very frightened i saw my father die very slowly with cancer and that memory will always stay with me i am a strong person outward but a scarred one inward, how do i cope i dont want to be o bore  or a burden to my family, the think everything is hunky dorey, job done thats it.

no one but him can understand how he feels, its absaloutly gutting news and some people take the news dif erently. depression can set in, putting a brave face on , pretending you will take what comes, rubbish, he is terrified, scarred, doesnt know the unknown frightened, will reject people, time does not make things better. there is a time when you can say i will fight this and it does help, but dont forget what they are going through, no one can take the fear away, no one give support even though it looks like its not needed, it is. cry together let it all out watch the frustration boil up , then think we will do all the things you want to do , nothing is impossible make a bucket list, think about a  grandchild or relative and watching them grow a 18th 21st marrige etc look forward keep the mind busy push your body even when you feel like crap and the next day you will feel good about what you have accoumplished regards and good luck xx