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Advanced bowel cancer

Ahep60
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hi , I'm angie, my husband has just been at 48 told he has advanced bowel cancer. He will start 6 moths of chemo on Tuesday, with a 3 month scan to see what's happening. He had no symptoms apart from stomach pain occasionally.. I'm absolutely s......G myself, as the  unknown is so frighteneing. I'm also so concerned as since he found out he is being so negative.,and has taken this lying down , says he has pain and nausea, and doesn't want to do anything before treatment starts,so unlike him, as we had we had such a active live  before,Just don't know what to to do.

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    Hello Ahep60,

    I noticed you had received some nice responses in your other thread but thought I would also bump this one in case anyone has anything to suggest to you about how to talk to your husband at the moment as he is feeling so negative. It does sound like a difficult situation for you to have to deal with!

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    i have gone through bowel cancer treatment , operation chemotherapy, and now the wait as to what goes on next every twinge the  aftermath of chemo ,i have taken to drinking a bottle of wine every evening as i want to block out what might be next. i am probably doing the wrong thing but it is the only way i know how to cope, i cant sleep without it, sometimes i sit and think is it all worth while, i have a lot to live for so i am positive most of the time, i have this awfull thought in my mind constantly 5 - 10 years max for cancer patients i have gone 3 now and i know i am pushing my luck with the drink every night  but how else can i cope, every day when i go out i do my makeup and hair but sometimes i spend the day in my nightware.its only because its winter i get away with it. i live in fear as to when it will return how long have i got i dont want to be a burden to anyone or let my loved ones wait for me to die, i am very frightened i saw my father die very slowly with cancer and that memory will always stay with me i am a strong person outward but a scarred one inward, how do i cope i dont want to be o bore  or a burden to my family, the think everything is hunky dorey, job done thats it.

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    no one but him can understand how he feels, its absaloutly gutting news and some people take the news dif erently. depression can set in, putting a brave face on , pretending you will take what comes, rubbish, he is terrified, scarred, doesnt know the unknown frightened, will reject people, time does not make things better. there is a time when you can say i will fight this and it does help, but dont forget what they are going through, no one can take the fear away, no one give support even though it looks like its not needed, it is. cry together let it all out watch the frustration boil up , then think we will do all the things you want to do , nothing is impossible make a bucket list, think about a  grandchild or relative and watching them grow a 18th 21st marrige etc look forward keep the mind busy push your body even when you feel like crap and the next day you will feel good about what you have accoumplished regards and good luck xx 

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    Hi

    I was 30 when I was diagnosed with dukes grade c bowel cancer (stage 3). I to had no symptoms until I had my son by c section. My bowel actually perforated so I had an emergency operation to remove part of my bowel which is when they found the cancer. I had 6 months of chemo and a stoma for 15 months which I finally had reversed last late last year.

    It is such a scary and emotional time for everyone! 

    Please hang in there. I am typically a positive person but I did have my low days (sometimes even weeks). I know it helped me to talk through my fears with my husband and he was with me every step of the way.

    Just wanted to let you know as someone that has been through it the best thing my husband did for me was just being there. And yes I was a bit of a pain to him sometimes!!

     

    Good luck with everything and keep strong xx

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