I apologise 100% and will not contribute any more as I realise and accept that I was rude and offensive.  The NHS saved my life.  It will save many more - that does not excuse nor forgive my crass and insensitive reponse.  Apologies and I will not be a participant in forum anymore as I do believe that I have lost the right to be.  Sian

Hi Sian 

I personally accept your appology and ask you not to leave the forum because of a difference of opinions.

The NHS saved your life so you are bound to be enthralled by them, but all I ask you is please open your eyes reread what you wrote, you say we should be grateful for our free NHS... It's not free every working person in this country contributes towards it every year of their working life as I did. And then when I comes to asking for payback they let you down, well in my case anyway.

Anyway hope you will stay and Continue to give positive advise to people who are trying to find strength to continue fighting this crap disease. 

Of course I will execpt your apology that goes without saying but you need to be nicer with your words at the end of the day people come on here to get away from the hell there doing through and chat to others they don't want to be bombarded with rudeness and ignorance of people. You just need to find words that don't come across as an insult or offense -Diane 

to all re sian

I think sian should remain and contribute to the forum, she too shares with us all the baggage that comes with cancer, we all react differently, in her case taking it out on other sufferers, but we should forgive her. Perhaps being more sympathetic to others on this forum, could be good a good excecise to help her dealing with her own problems.

to sian

People often come on this forum because they have no one else to turn to, or no one they can talk frankly with, sure they ask some silly questions, I asked loads when first diagnosed,  they sometimes use words like terrified, devastated, because they are. Families and loved ones can suffer just as much as the person with cancer. But all of them need kindness and respect and a bit of support. Its not that difficult to do, with a little thought. Kim

PS I upset one member of this forum with some ill chosen words, it was not deliberate and shows how much more difficult it is to communicate with the written word as opposed to speaking to someone face to face, where you can pick up visual cues and body language, which can over ride ill chosen words.

Hi ecw

Its very difficult to keep it all together at times and I congatulate you for doing so in your predicament. I do rage from time to time but mostly I get through by living in a fantasy land with my head in the sand pretending none of this is happening. Mine started with a simple treatable squamous cell skin cancer on my head which due to months of delay in treatment, metastasised to my neck lymphs, throat, salivary gland, and now lung. Had surgery 16 months ago radiotherapy 12 months ago, but had a relapse and more surgery a few weeks ago now awaiting radiotherapy. Chemotherapy is out for me too for different reasons. I wish you and your family the strength to get through this. Kim

Hi Kim

I think I am doing the same really, thinking it's a horrible dream that I can't wake up from. The ironic part is cancer doesn't run in our family we have a family  history of alzheimers and dementia, so since Mum died 11 years ago of it me my sister and brother have all dreaded the wait to see if we have any symptoms  haha!!!!

Mine is also squamous cell lung cancer, found out after routine ct last August, but I must say you have certainly been through a lot more than me, no wonder you bury your head in the sand! What annoys me as well is nobody wants to tell you anything,  and if they do they are all saying different things, contradicting each other, from the  oncologist saying it's incurable,  to the radiologist saying we can shrink and kill it! My nurse is great though.

We have told our 2 daughters but I have kept the news that it spread from them, they still think I have the one tumor and the rad. will zap it I thought I would wait for the 3 month scan ( bloody 3 months wait) then let them know exactly what's happening, enough for tonight take care Kim

Cancer runs in my family and my late husbands side from what I can remember all my aunties my grandparents my brother all died from cancer  my mother had cancer but died of heart failure. And on my late hubbys side everyone died from cancer. Then my hubby died from terminal cancer 4 years ago and I got cancer last year luckily went into remission in mid January of this year -Diane x

You're right ecw the NHS is not free.

But it is "Not for Profit" and it is universally available.

A lot of people in other countries can't afford insurance or cannot afford good insurance.

For example my Wife was treated privately under my company's plan but when they switched provider she was told she wouldn't be treated any more because it was metastatic - not covered.

Many people abroad have co-pay - sure you get treated but you have to stump up some of the cost. Can't work so cant co-pay? too bad

Its not perfect but Mel got treated by the NHS and privately and there were pros and cons of each so I think I have a good perspective which is why I'm posting.

I'm really sorry that your cancer spread so fast and I don't really know enough about your case to comment but it does seem a long time but it sounds as if the delay was in diagnosing the mass or inflamation as cancerous rather than the time after the diagnosis was made - is that what happened?

It is certainly true that cancer success in the UK is not what it could be and when you dig into it time to diagnose often seems to be the factor - sometimes there's an issue with people avoiding doctors but that doesn't explain why the figures are often better in other European countries.

Still some way to go it seems

I wonder how many scanners you can get for the price of a nuclear submarine? - [moderators if that's too contentious edit it out]

Hi Graham hope you are well.

Yes I agree with you on all points.

My NHS trust is royal free London which covers chase farm(where I was referred) Barnet Uch London. 

When they found out it was cancer I started having the different test to find out which cancer it was.

PET  thingy down the throat lft bloods cts 

I was sent to the royal free for thingy down throat but that test proved inconclusive so had to wait for another appointment at the Uch London for repeat biopsy. 2 repeated pet scans 1 brain scan at different hospitals

What I ask myself now is and I could kick myself for not thinking of it then is why did they not refer me straight to Mount Vernon cancer centre THEN....

Instead of trying to find out themselves what cancer it was why not let a specialist hospital with all the scanning equipment specialist doctors etc.all in one place do the test.

As it was when I was referred I had to have some of the test repeated as they were out of date and that's when I found out it had spread! 

Thanks for taking the time to post and listen x