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Husband diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer

frankinsence
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My husband and I are both 53, two weeks before Christmas he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer.  Our world has been turned upside down by the diagnosis.  We were looking forward to enjoying ourselves more in 2016 as 2015 was a difficult year.  I can not even begin to contemplate not having by husband around as we have been together since we were 16, we have been so lucky to have such a wonderful long relationship. 

I am struggling with the emotional side of it all.  My husband seems very accepting and just wants to organise everything to make it easier for me when he is not longer here.  He stuggles with the not knowing how long he has?  He has started palative chemotherapy and the side affects do not seem to bad at the moment.  Though he is very tired. We have three children and 2 grandchildren who have all taken the news very differently.

 

  • Offline in reply to yorkshire man

    Hello Yorkshire man

    i am awaiting diagnosis but fearing the worst. Dr refered me for emergency ct scan after ultra sound showed lesion on pancreas.

    my symptoms at moment are slightly yellow and pain in centre of abdomen, just under rib cage.

    ultra sound ruled out gall stones.

    would appreciate any advice.

     

    Frantic

  • Offline in reply to frantic.
    Advice, can't help. What I have realised is cancer is a unique journey, what works for one may not for another, but I'm happy to share any information that may help. Upon diagnosis, first thing I did was have a good cry ( in the car park of the hospital) didn't see that coming, as with you prolonged abdominal pain, had lost three stone because I was afraid to eat. Next I researched all I could find and decided what I thought was good for cancer and what was bad. I know it's going to win, but I will last as long( in good health) as I can. This has meant drastic life changes for me, read it's beneficial to go vegan for at least 3 days a week ( love a full English breakfast) so I went vegan overnight, no point in half measures, decided if the pancreas was under attack, then the rest of my organs would have to work overtime to compensate, so I now take 20 supplements for the rest of them to help with the load. The main thing for me was to recognise I was the mirror everyone looked into to see how I was, if I looked terrified, then they would too, it's not that I aren't concerned, of course I am, but I have to look at what I can deal with and what I can't, can't deal with the cancer, can deal with the symptoms and how I let them affect my state of mind. Feel I've rattled on enough for you, please stay positive, my lifestyle pre diagnosis was so unhealthy, hope this helps, Al
  • Offline in reply to yorkshire man
    Hi Al Please can you point me to ideas for reading. Thanks for the long chat appreciated your views at moment I'm trying to stay positive and hoping for the lessors of evils but also preparing for whatever. Regards Dianne
  • Offline in reply to frantic.

    Positive is good, realistic is also good, researched all sorts of websites, most give conflicting advice, recognised I needed to make some decisions about the choices I was going to make. I am not an expert, however I am as near an expert on me as I can find so I gauge everything on how it makes me feel, I just avoid the things that I think will feed the cancer, my problem is this is an incredibly long list now, but worth it to come from laid on the floor for 2-3 hours waiting for the morpheine to work, to now pain free 95% of the time. Deal with the  pain if you can , sounds like the pancreas is working too hard, Al

  • Offline in reply to yorkshire man
    My mum got the diagnosis yesterday and we are all in shock - she has had breathing problems for nearly a year and had so many tests but cancer was almost ruled out. She has a blood clot on her lung but has had no pain, stools are normal but she has lost 2 stone rapidly in two months. I know she is scared but she is putting a brace face on it....I'm not sure it's fully registered with her yet. We know it's a matter of time but as she feels so well she has already said ' she wants everything to continue as it is - she doesn't want us to fuss and she doesn't wants us to be sad'. I wish everyone on the same journey that we are about to embark on the very best. I can only follow her lead and not let the cancer take her spirit as well as her body xx
  • Offline in reply to yorkshire man
    Hi Yorkshire Man I have no diagnosis of cancer as yet, I am awaiting the results of a biopsy having just had a large possible cancerous skin spot removed from my neck. I have had gurgling indigestion and mild but consistent heartburn for 3 months. I was prescribed a gastro medication which I have taken for 3 weeks with no effect. I guess like most people with any thoughts of cancer with these symptoms I am beginning to fear the worst. I like your positive approach to cancer, I already feel I have learned something from you, Thank-you!
  • Offline in reply to nalkate

    Hi N.Kate,

    I wondered how your mother is doing with her chemo? My mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver. She will starting the Abraxane/Gemcitabine combo on Wednesday and her oncologist is very positive that she will respond well. What that means we don’t really know but I was encouraged reading your post. 

    Hope to hear from you.

    adrienne 

     

  • Offline in reply to AC02

    Hi Kate,

        My wife is diagnose with stage 4 cancer too. just like you I m scare and nervous too. i just feel so along and depress especially this holiday

    Arnel

     

  • Offline in reply to arnel7
    Hi All, My mum hasn't received a formal diagnosis as yet but with the way they are rushing her through tests, we are fearing the worst. She has been told she has a 2cm growth on her pancreas and shadows on her liver. 5 years ago she had a full thyroidectomy and radiation treatment and has since had the all clear. In fact she had her usual scan only a few weeks ago giving her the all clear but after having some severe abdominal pain was referred for a scan and now this. She has already been discussing options with the doctor which makes me feel in the pit of my stomach that it is going to be what we fear the most. Trying to remain positive until we know for sure but I am beyond devastated. My husband is not very good at dealing with emotional stuff so feeling a little lost as to where to outpour. :(
  • Offline

    Hi. I’m so sorry to hear this about your husband and I’m here now as my dad may have pancreatic cancer that has spread to his liver. We are awaiting the biopsy but have been told it doesn’t look good. He started being ill last year November and he is now in terrible pain in hospital.  I have read lots of things and am now seeing that there is no way back from this if it’s diagnosed and we are going to have a terrible time ahead.  We were booked for a holiday abroad with my dad this year. I now fear it will never happen again. X 

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