Hi there, welcome to the forum that no one would choose to be on for the reason we are. I'm sorry to hear your news about your terminal cancer diagnosis. I think your family is shell shocked at this news as most families are when they hear that a loved one has been diagnosed with it. Those of us with the disease, for some reason, accept it sooner once we come to terms with it, not that we're okay with it for sure. Of course we struggle with living on the edge because our future is so uncertain, but we know when told that our disease is terminal, our destiny is already decided; its' just a matter of when. Family members and loved ones deal with the uncertainty as well, but in a different way. I love that your neighbors have put up their Christmas lights in your honor. It certainly indicates their caring for you and your family.

Congratulations on becoming a grandad and my wish for you is that you do see Christmas and also walk your daughter down the aisle, or at least see her married. You sound like a very caring person and I'm sure will leave many beautiful memories for your family.

Come back on to the forum and let us know how things go for you.

Sending virtual hugs to you and your family.

Lorraine

Hi,

I'm so sorry to read about your prognosis, but I'm puzzled why your oncologist was so negative. Any estimates are based on averages and don't take into account a patient's age (48 is young) or levels of fitness. 

I received a similar Stage 4 diagnosis and prognosis (cancer of the gastric/oesophageal junction in my case) in October 2013. My oncologist said I might not see Christmas 2013 without chemo and I would be lucky to live a year with it. I went straight onto chemo, which ended in early January 2014. My CT scan then showed that my primary and secondaries had shrunk by over 50%. I'm now approaching my third Christmas post-diagnosis - much to everyone's surprise. 

What I'm trying to say is that they don't always get these prognoses right and it might be worth re-considering chemo, or at least getting a second opinion before you decide. Whatever the statistics say, some of us do somehow manage to beat the odds by going for the chemo option. 

Best wishes and Good Luck.
Dave

Hi h4worth ....

Like yourself and several people on the forum, I too have a terminal prognosis.  Breast cancer primary in my case but I found out that I have secondary spread to the liver and abdomen lymph nodes in 2012. This is now very extensive and pressing on all gastric organs, including my poor stomach being rather squashed!

 I cant help agreeing with Dave in as much as chemo is often worth a shot dependant on your current fitness.  I was given a 4-6month prognosis 3-1/2yrs ago and have been on 3wkly chemo for all that time.  I am able to live a relatively normal life at this present time.  Your GP or McMillan nurse should be able to help you with pain relief.  I take slow-release morphine morning and night with top-up liquid inbetween if required - this was sorted by my GP and has made such a difference to my qualify of life. 

Whatever you decide please know that you are not alone with your thoughts as there are friends you will meet here on the forum who you can talk to and who are going through a similar journey.  All the best and welcome to the forum x

Hello h4worth,

So sorry to read your story, but I have to say I agree with davek and max46 that it would be worth reconsidering having chemo.  They are still here even though they were told they only had a short while.  

Whatever you decide, I do hope you get to see Christmas, and then your daughter's wedding.  And how lovely are your neighbours for putting their decorations up as well?  

Thinking of you and your family, 

Hazel x

Hi

Sorry to see the reason behind your joining the forum but hope you find good support here (I did).

I am seeing this from a relative's viewpoint in that it was firstly my( Dad 84) and  then my husband (60) who were diagnosed with terminal cancer.

My Dad chose no treatment other than pain relief and lived a further year whilst my husband opted for palliative chemo in the hope of giving him longer with the family and he survived a further three years and felt lucky to see his second grandson born and always said he would not give up on the cancer until it gave up on him! 

We backed both decisions because we felt it important to listen to what they wanted and how they wished to live their lives (and neither was easy to observe).  They did however both listen carefully to their medical team and ask lots of questions before reaching their respective decisions and certainly in my husband's situation he made decisions on an appointment to appointment basis (initially three monthly).

This forum means whatever you decide you can chat here without any kind of judgement and sometimes its just easier to offload/discuss feelings with those who are coping first-hand.  I hope you make the best of your time with the family, see your daughter married and make memories for all the familybut do remember that time-lines given are definitely meant to be broken and its not an exact science. Regards Jules54

Hi Dave

My oncologist did want me to start chemo straight away but i said no.The reason i said no is beacause he could only offer me weeks to live and could not guarantee that chemo would extend my life by a significant amount.(nobody can).So i decided to have the best time i can with my family not having to put up with chemo sickness.My wife and i have always kept the kids in the loop as to what is happening to me and what the outcome will be,and when any decissions had to be made we did it as a family.

Like yourself my cancer started at the junction of the Oesophicus and the stomach, then spread into stomach,nodes and now liver.Im on a syringe driver now which is working well, hardly any pain and i can still eat and go out which is great.I know that i wont be able to carry on like this much longer,but while i can i will.

All the best Andy

Hi Andy .........    I can see that you and your family have thought things through and are satisfied with the decisions you have made.  I wish you all the best and do understand how you must be feeling because living with the unknown is hard -and I've had some practice haha!!

Have some good times with friends and family -and some chats with us here.  Speak soon  x

Hi Andy,

Sorry to hear that you've reached the stage where syringe drivers are involved, but glad to hear that the pain is under control.
I sincerely hope you're able to make the best of the time you have with your family.

All the best
Dave