Hi Lisa

Sorry about your family members to have lost so many to this horrible illness must be very difficult.  You ask how can you be strong I dont know Lisa but we just are, when my Dad was ill I was strong in front of him but broke down after.

Having cancer myself I can say that the main thing is to try not to give them stress or added worry.  Take your lead from them cry with them if need be but be there to laugh with them too. Speak to other family members and you will find they probably feel the same so you can support each other.

Try and do practical things if you can.  Come on here as well to chat.

Hi,

Thank you for your reply.

I'm sorry to hear that yourself is going through this fight.

Thank you for the advice, I was wondering if I should cry with them. So this helps me a lot.

Unfortunately my other family members aren't the type to talk bout it, just brush it as side and hope for the best.

After reading your reply, I'm now feeling more positive, to be able to help them through their fight.

Thank you again. X

Hi, Lisa, I have always believed it is so much harder being a carer/watching someone who is ill.  You just feel so helpless and are never sure what is expected of you.

The one thing I absolutely hate is when I have had bad news or am in pain, some people seem to think the best thing to do is try to make you laugh, when really what you need is a hug and a bit of sympathy.  Other times, when I am coping I love to go out and have a giggle with friends and try to forget everything.  Unfortunately, I dont think we are very good at communicating our feelings sometimes and that is when you have to second guess.  Sometimes people who appear not to want to talk are just not used to communicating and just need a little help.  And when you say to someone 'How are you' and they say, Fine, just ask if they really are.  x

My husband is waiting for his first appointment with the hospital after our GP was very quick to react to his blood test results & X-ray. He thinks it is lymphoma with the lung being involved. He's pretty poorly but keeps saying he's fine when I know he's not. I'm so worried & upset & could do with a hug! After 43 years of happy marriage we are not being as close as normal.I believe he is staying strong for me as he knows how emotional & weepy I get. The waiting is unbearable & I am so worried! 

Hi, Jeanie, I attend a little gynae cancer group and one of our ladies always looked so good, was always smiling and confident and, if you asked her how she was, she said she was fine.  One day I just said 'Are you really' and she burst into tears and talked for ages. Why dont you just tell him you need to know how he is feeling and start by telling him your worries for him.

I do hope you get the appointment soon and the results are favourable.

Thank you for that. X

It's so nice to talk to people and receive advice from others in the same situation.

Thank you for replying Pauline, I think I will follow your advise. It would be so much better if we can be open about our feelings. Also thanks for your good wishes.

Thanks Lisa,I'm feeling that hug & sending one in return. Lovely to know someone is thinking of you x